Breakfast at Target

Holidaze 2011, Part One: Christmas Festivities

2011-12-30T10:16:00.000-05:00

As Life would have it, once things slowed down a bit in the last week, everything else caught up: I stand (sit?) before you a disgusting wad of funk, inevitably brought on by weird shifts in weather (71 and sunny to 54 and rainy in 24 hours), holiday stress, and 4 months of being completely inundated and running on 5 hours of sleep (nightly? weekly? no good either way).

The best part of a sick-day quarantine is that you have no choice but to avoid the ridiculous amount of errands and chores and people-dealings, unless you want to be the poster child for public health threats and wear a bag over your head. No, I sat in my apartment all day on my day off yesterday and brilliantly made sense of the piles in corners, under my crappy furniture, and shoved between things - stuff I accumulated and never took the time to deal with... 2 bags of trash and 2 more for donations later, I felt relieved that the only clutter I had left to manage was the phlemgy mess in my nose and chest. Despite the gunk load, I slept soundly for the first time in months. A lighter apartment and a heavy dose of NyQuil work wonders.

Christmas this year came just how I wanted it: slowly yet with punctuated moments of chaos and excitement, and it left just the same. In my very Catholic house, we celebrated the joy and sentiment of Christmas until the Feast of the Holy Family on Jan 6th (or maybe because we were too lazy to take down the decorations and wanted an excuse to keep eating lots of food). In a world were things often stop or leave so abruptly, the quiet transition into a new year is what I crave the most, seeing that January and February is quite possibly the ugliest time around here.

I spent Christmas this year with John's family, and they always do a marvelous job planning and cooking and decorating. My family was down in Florida visiting with my Dad who's been on assignment in the central part of the state since earlier this year - they were really supportive of my decision not to travel and fray the last little nerves I had left. (I'm leaving today for a grand NYE celebration at the beach with them, so I think it's a faaabulous trade off.) I managed to stay right where I wanted most of the short trip over the long weekend: behind my trusty Nikon. Below are some of my favorite shots from the trip. Speak for themselves. :)

*All photos copyright Breakfast at Target/Celia G Photographie - you steal, you risk the wrath.
** Blogger still isn't compressing photos correctly, excuse the grain/rough edges in some of the photos... grr.

Yummy frozen peach bellini.

Cadey and her delicious candy-cane pizza.

My Christmas tree: Pesto, mozzarella, sun-dried tomatoes, and pineapple. Sounds weird but I promise, it was SO good!

Mama C's snowman pizza.

Right here is when I discovered the enchantment of Words with Friends. And immediately downloaded it to the iPad, because I was tired of being left out.

High scorin' Mama!

Y'all thought I was kidding.

My handsome attorney.

Wondering how I scored a handsome attorney.

Da girls.

Christmas crazies.

Cadey's Christmas Steve Maddens.

Rockin' around the Christmas tree. AH YEP.

Nana and her 2011 photo book, made by Mama C.

Christmas Day lunch across the way.

Part two around the corner... lots to share. :)

Well, Now That's Pinteresting...

2011-12-16T08:04:00.004-05:00

I survived my exams.

I survived my last crazy work week of 2011.

Holiday parties, deadlines, and laundry... these awaited me after my end-of-the-semester chaos. I conquered them with my usual ~~grace and charm~~ anxiety and baffling blundery just the same.

And now? Two brilliant weeks off... but not out of the clear, yet. A flippity-gillion photo sessions to edit, a disaster of an apartment to clean up, and somehow I need to be running 8 miles 4x's a week to prepare for my 1/2 marathon in February.

But dangit, betches... I'm on my own time. And I'm kicking it off with a much needed girls retreat to the Holy City (that's Charleston, SC, for my lovelies in other parts of the world).

Don't consider this my magical return to the blogosphere just yet, but I wanted to check in and let you all know just how much all your support meant to me. I needed it, all of it, so know not an ounce of your concern or well wishes went to waste.

You all saved me a considerable amount of money on vodka.

Expect a valiant return soon -- some news to share and a few tell-all posts inspired by recent conversations -- but in the meantime, I have a tidbit of "I beg your pardon" to share with you all before I head out of town....

During my usual early morning coffee-sipping and Pinterest perusing before attacking emails and the news, I came across gem:

PINTEREST FAIL.

Congrats, Joseph - you're officially The Biggest Creeper on Pinterest. Send me the address to your basement haven at your mom's house so I can send you your award.

And to Hana, whoever and where ever you are, HIGH FIVE, GIRLFRAN.

---

So don't forget, people - Jesus and Santa Claus are always watching.

And occasionally, everyone else on the internet.

I freakin' love you all.

"Breakfast at Target" Takes a Sabbatical

2011-12-01T08:48:00.000-05:00

Y'all.

I don't know even know where to start.

This has been, BY FAR, the worst semester of my life. My class work, my work-work (all three jobs), and my beau's tireless search for gainful legal employment have been downright painful, frustrating, and, worst of all, hopeless. That pathetic little light at the end of the tunnel seems to get farther away with each new craptastic situation, unfortunate set of circumstances, or heart-breaking dead-end after lots of time and energy wasted. Once someone who made long-term plans and decisions to get there accordingly, I find myself living a day or two at a time - because honestly, I live in terror of things to come. More work to be done. More bad news.

There comes a point when drinking yourself into a numbed stupor and rationalizing your challenges as "tests of the cosmos" make you just want to punch somebody and walk away from it all.

As my To Do list got heavier and messier and my life along with it, I found myself in a place I wasn't sure to get out of - my energy zapped, my ambitions tossed careless by the wayside, my creative breath knocked right out.... as of today I stand (sit?) before you all as a tangled mess of despair, loathing, exhaustion, and vapidness.

The worst part?

For the first time in my life, I don't know what to do. A self-proclaimed organization and planning freak, I'm left without even the slightest clue of how to move forward.

I need a victory. A manageable To Do list. Something to look forward to. A top-shelf cocktail and a hug.

In the end, I decided I needed to put my beloved and precious blog on a mini and formal hiatus. And for a short while, I may also be taking down my Facebook. Cutting down on distractions seems to be the first step to getting out of the crap-hole that is my existence.

(To my blogging pals, new and old, I'll be catching up in the coming weeks after I survive final papers, projects, presentations, and exams. I can't say it enough, but I do take time to read, I'm just bad about commenting due to lack of brain-power.)

INNNNN the meantime... I've compiled a list of "Best of B@T" to keep you thrilled and entertained during my (undisclosed) time away. Want more? Click "The Mean Reds"in the titlebar...

1.) I Got 99 Problems....

My in-depth look at the crazy - and I mean CRAZY - womenfolk in our lives.

2.) Group Projects: Welcome to My Nightmare

I swear the only thing worse than group projects is... no, actually, group projects are the embodiment of hell-on-earth.

3.) I Be Up in the Gym

As a fitness instructor, I have a few tips on how to not be a total ass-hat at the gym. Oh, and get that workout you deserve. (Yup, there are tips for the fellas in there, too.)

4.) Summer has it's Etiquette

It's December. Why am I posting about summer? Because it relates to vacays and I know some of y'all have bang-up plans to hit the road this holiday season.

5.) Workin' On My Cred': Get the Picture? (Part I)

My testament and personal reflections on the journey into professional photography. There's a Part II, a follow-up, you can find under "The Mean Reds."

With that, I'm off to down my 3rd (maybe 5th?) cup of coffee... and possibly crank up Mumford & Sons.

-----------

I know there are good things, good people, and good moments in my life. I'm grateful for those and hold on to them like a 2nd-grader to a pudding cup. I'll come out of this one way or another, and your patience is more than I could ask for.

6' foot blondes are hard to keep down.

Sean Luca and The Lolli-Bone

2011-11-10T08:42:00.001-05:00

I've been a bad mama this semester. Super early mornings at the gym give way to long days at the office and into evening classes and nights spent cooped up in my room plugging away at all the crap I've got. to. get. done. My kids wait patiently for a hug and a belly rub, always there to greet me when I get home and enjoy every second of the quick breaks I get throughout the day. I wish I had more time for snuggle sessions and taking them outside to play in this delightful southern autumn weather -- or their favorite, squirrel hunting (<-- be careful, you may not be able to handle this)... alas, we make the most of our quick interludes together, my heart breaking every time I run out the door and they stare quietly with a slow wag of their tail and a look like YOU CAN DO IT, MAMA.

To make up for my slack maternal performance AND to kick off my birthday weekend (turning a ripe 26 this Sunday), I picked up a couple of treats from the grocery store and enticed my little chubsters with some fake-meaty goodness.

(*following photos straight-out-of-the-camera)

Sean Luca knowing there's something delicious coming his way.

I set the treats down to the excitedly wagging pups and head back to my room to start on the latest homework installment.

Sean Luca taking a second to check it out.

Within seconds, I hear loud squeals and snorts of pure ecstasy coming from the living area.

He didn't even notice I was in his face with the camera.

OH DEAR SWEET WONDERFUL LOLLI-BONE!

I felt better knowing I had won Sean Luca over with his now favoritest treat ON THE ENTIRE PLANET and was thoroughly distracted (and entertained) by his perfect little pig-dog noises for the remainder of the evening.

Audrey, on the other hand?

........

WHAT A BRAT.

----

It's approximately ONE MONTH until Fall Semester 2011 is over... hoping to enjoy my last weekend as a 25-year-old and attack the remaining weeks with vengeance.

And come Dec. 9th, I'll be going to town on a bottle of gin like a Sean Luca to a lolli-bone.

---

Best Text Message I've Ever Received.

2011-10-24T18:10:00.001-04:00

This past week was Fall Break. For the last several weeks, I had a trip planned for a special assignment to THIS place:

Yes, my friends, it's none other than the amazing Chicago... I'm particularly smitten (like for real, I'm obsessed with this place) and already itching to get my fanny back up there as soon as possible.*

Just hours before I was due to leave for my whirlwind trip to the Windy City, the ding-dang Supreme Court of South Carolina announces Bar results are going to be revealed....

... A WEEK EARLY.

Commence epic breakdown.

Through my heaves and sobs, John insists I get on the plane and whatever happens was going to happen anyway. After MONTHS of planning how and when the moment was going to be handled, where we would be, what alcohol would be on hand... it was happening whether we liked it or not.

To make matters worse, John was traveling back from D.C., busting his tail to be in his homestate when the results were posted for the world to see.**

I distracted myself by wandering through Chicago and turned my phone off all day - I had a job to do and I wasn't about to ruin my already freaked attention span, no matter what the results. I told myself when I returned home in the evening I was going to turn my phone on, take a deep breath, and call my Beau.

That evening, shaking all the way up the 28 floors to my friend's apartment, I finally turn my phone back on...

"You have 1 new message."

(open message)

"From John: You are dating a lawyer."

PRAISE BE JEEZ-US!

So there we were, a time-zone apart, and both squealing in excitement, joy, and most of all, relief.

Relief we no longer need to wait, relief we can start planning our lives, relief that there will be someone to get me out of trouble when someone finally gets offended by the nonsense I post on here.

Unfortunately, I'm still amidst an anxious return to a horrible work/school week ahead: major assignments, a midterm that encompasses a 16 page study guide - thanks for the help on that one, Becky!, and entertaining new MPA candidates... Lord love a biscuit.

SO, appropriate celebrations and MUCH over-do blog commenting updates are on the way this weekend... SWEARS. I caught up on a bit on reading this weekend and it seems everyone else is also in a state of CRAZY!

Thank you again to everyone - EVERYONE - who offered their support, their time, their love, their positive vibes, their liquor cabinets, and most of all, their understanding and empathetic words and gestures of kindness through the last few months and years of John's law schooling. (Just so you know, he totally owes you one. I'll make sure of it.)

I mean it.

THANK YOU.

*To those of you in and around the Chicago area, sorry for no heads up... I was on assignment and booked solid through my 2.5 days, so it as hard to reach out!

**John actually pulled over in an old Exxon gas station in the middle of NOWHERE North Carolina... he apparently went pretty darned crazy and caused great concern to the old people hanging around.... HA.

Shama-Lama Ding DANG.

2011-10-11T08:58:00.002-04:00

A quick post to explain my hiatus....

This semester has royally ripped me a new one. I wholly underestimated the time, energy, and bottles of Pinot I would need to suffer through it. I wasn't prepared for the amount of work, the need to schedule every second of every day, and the general feelings of anxiety, stress, rage, and exhaustion.

And, now, I'm struggling to keep my head above water. I've found myself in a position of missing deadlines, asking for extensions, and giving up sleeping and eating to make up for lost time.

It's really no way to live, y'all.

To make matters worse, in 18 days we find out about John's results from the Bar exam; and, frankly, I can't even begin to fathom the emotional chaos Oct 28th has in store for us.

As terrifying as the last few months have been and as bad a beating my liver has taken, there have been a few moments of quiet reflection, instances of loyalty and friendship, and times of positive, personal validation. It's amazing how at your lowest points you have nothing left but to face the reality you've created for yourself. Even more amazing is seeing who's there to help pull you out of the messy hole and finding that weird strength you summon from within. If you're really good, you'll pass it on to someone else who needs it.

Ultimately, tortured moments are not merely tests of strength. They're challenges on your perspective, your creative ability to interpret the world. It's a healthy dose of humility. And it helps you decide just what's important to you after all.

NOW.

What does my superflous Tuesday morning soliloquy mean for those of you who just spent 10min reading this? Other than wondering jusssst exactly what I put in my coffee, it means this:

To my blogging friends, I've been a silent observer and unfortunately haven't had the time to leave the thoughtful comments I know you've always been quick to share with me. But I'm reading. I know what a little blog love means and it breaks my heart to deny that to you. But please: Keep on keepin' on... I do so enjoy hearing about your lives, your thoughts, and your random internet finds. I'll catch up soon...
To my reader friends, I've got a slew of posts I've started but can't find the energy or creative ~~juices~~ cocktails to complete them. It means a lot when someone expresses they miss my posts (even though I'm pretty sure John paid them to say it). I'm trying. I miss my blog.
To my friends I actually see in some real-life fashion: I'm tired and cranky and screwed up, but you should know me well enough I'm like that most of the time regardless. I'm working on it. Swears.

The next few months aren't looking a whole lot better schedule-wise, but I'm getting a little bit better about scheduling my workload... posting is mostly likely going to be sporadic, at best, so stay on the edge of your seat, people.

In the meantime, you can find me on Twitter, Pinterest, and my "photographie" FB site.

With that, it's time for another round of ~~gin~~ caffeine and off to work.

Hugs and high fives,

Celia

Breakfast at Target Take Over: The Loaded Handbag Edition.

2011-09-21T09:37:00.000-04:00

So I just emerged victoriously from a battle that involved a cricket, my shoe, and screaming Chihuahuas.
Pretty much sums my life lately: A constant mess of pests, noise, and resourcefulness.

Anyways.

I haven't totally been away from the blogging world; instead, this time around I lent my ~~talents~~ ~~skills~~ creatively projected word vomit to a blog most deserving of your readership, The Loaded Handbag. I've been following Nicki for a good while - outspoken, hilarious, observant, and articulate, she's been one of the best blogosphere friends a girl could have. Not only do we share a (bizarrely coincidental) love of The Muppets, vintage finds, cocktails, food and more food (AND MORE FOOD), doofy pets, awkward situations (this writing has to come from somewhere), photography, and general nonsense of daily lives, but she's always been there as a fellow significant other of a professionally ambitious (and oh-so handsome!) young man. She's well versed in good reads, great music, and UH-mazing food; I'm always happy with her suggestions. Her perspective is as unique as her writing style, and I always look forward to seeing the world from her viewpoint.

In other words, I'm a fan for life and I was honored when extended an invite to contribute to her blog's big fancy pants celebration:

So head on over to The Loaded Handbag and discover for yourself the sultry humor and sass of a girl who forever captured my ever-lovin' blogging heart. And you can read my post while you're at it. If you can handle it.

Gamecocks, Twitter, and Hipsters - OH MY!

2011-09-05T17:17:00.001-04:00

Bluhhh......
.... gaalllppphh....
.... who-hah-WHAT?!

How did I get here?!
Why does the calendar say September?!
.... and WHAT is this pile of nonsense on my desk?

SUMMER! COME BAAAACK!

Ohhh man...

Back to school. One last time (God willing). I hadn't realized how long I'd been away from blogging until I looked at my calendar and wondered why the heck there was so much written in it... in my handwriting... telling me to do about 473 things a day. Excuse me? Not in the mood, Life.

The weeks following my last post have been chaos. I lost all reasonable ability to plan and prepare because no matter what I tried, there was some freak thing around the corner that would punch me in the face anyways. Weeks felt like months and Fridays felt like Mondays. Returning to school was not the nice ease-in I've been accustomed to; rather, I already had fairly significant assignments due within the first few days of school, I had a two new work schedules to arrange, organizational things to plan, and a host of other responsibilities that seemed impossible to prioritize. A nervous break-down in the first two weeks of school? Not boding well for a good semester...

My only hope is that a gut-wrenchingly overwhelming start means an eventual "settling" of madness, though it's still too soon to tell. So, if my usual crankiness seems heightened or I don't commit to extra-curriculars or social outings, it's nothing personal - I'm just an overachieving moron who can barely even self-medicate with the hooch anymore because I'm "getting too old for this crap."WHAT GIVES?!

But the last few weeks haven't been a total loss. Some interesting things have happened along the way, so here's a quick catchin'-up:

.:: On Aug 23rd, John and I celebrated our 9th anniversary together. (That means if we had a kid when we started dating, it'd be starting 3rd grade this year.... UH!) Surprisingly, it really doesn't feel that long. But in some ways, I can't remember what life was like without him (I know, gag). To still be insanely infatuated with that kid despite all the changes and circumstances in our lives is a nice feeling. I'm telling ya' ladies, I won out. He's Disney prince charming handsome. He's smart. He's darned nice. He eats my weird cooking and tells me how proud he is of me (every day). He makes me laugh (every day). He never lets me go to bed mad and never raises his voice at me (though the dear Lord knows I've gone full-on crazy on him plenty of times). Y'all, I'm hooked. Unfortunately, grad school ridiculousness for me and legal field nonsense for him has further delayed conversations of the matrimonial variety, but after 9 years - what's a few more?

John and I at 16 when we first started dating, with "Peligro," THE coolest dog ever. (Thanks to Stephanie H. for sharing this photo!)

Us at a recent wedding with a very special guest of honor, Cocky!!!

.:: Gamecock football started with a game against East Carolina University (NC) that caused further heart pressure issues in the first half, but Spurrier and the boys pulled themselves together to come out with a 56-37 win. Next week is against UGA at Georgia (EAT IT, Bulldog freaks) and John's birthday with the fam. OH MAN.

.:: My dear friend, Meggie, also had a birthday. A birthday that celebrated the most mis-understood creatures of all time: hipsters.

Needless to say, the night was a release of all mainstream thoughts and desires... and the morning after quickly reminded me why Miller High Life is NOT the champagne of beers.

.:: Speaking of mainstream, I've found myself on Twitter. Though I hadn't really considered it, my social networking guru-friend, Allen K., eventually talked me into it. That, and there's been a Breakfast at Target IMPOSTOR... imitation is flattering, sure, WHATEVER. As I'm still a new Tweeter, I'd love the support... and to make sure the real-deal prevails, NAH MEAN.

Follow at http://twitter.com/#!/BrkfastAtTarget

As I have a few hours left of my very-much needed 3 day weekend and I've spent a good chunk of my Labor Day working on homework (hopefully the last time that ever happens), John and I have decided to try our hands at shrimp-n-grits tonight and enjoy our last little bit of quiet together.

So, I'm here. Just trying to hold on for dear life.
Le' sigh.

Foodie Post #7: Tako-Sushi - "Far East, Southwest"

2011-08-15T12:38:00.002-04:00

Entering graduate school, year two. Helping the little bro who just moved in as a freshman... and made it a obvious he's gonna-need some help from the big sis. Sinking into new job at the grant writing firm. Preparing for teaching fitness classes four days per week. Managing our graduate student group. Waiting for the results of John's Bar... and word on any job prospects. Trying to get this photography bid'ness moving along. Budgeting the very little money I have (thanks, school, for jacking up tuition YET AGAIN) for the insane amount of things I still have yet to cover... not to mention the already rising general monthly costs. Reworking my schedule to fit everything in. Pretending I'll actually have a real 'day off' once in a while. And possibly... playing on a community kickball team?

School doesn't start for another four days and I'm already COMPLETELY overwhelmed.

And I have no one to blame but myself.

Surprise. SURPRISE.

------------------------------------

Yes. I'm loud, move quickly, talk 100 miles a minute, and can be pretty darn impatient knowing I've got 394083 other things to do. I'm not particularly proud of the spaz I am; patience and taking the time to annunciate when I get worked up in a conversation is something I'm constantly working towards. One such way is surrounding myself with people who are strong and sturdy, think clearly and methodically, and are calm and patient themselves. It just so happens its a perfect opposites attract situation, because the dear Lord knows I'd be exhausted if I surrounded myself with people... like me.

My friend, Sarah K., is a long-time pal from undergrad whom I met through my sorority. A transfer student from California, she possessed a mysterious charm and style and perspective all her own; before we knew it, she was heavily involved in several student organizations and making all kinds of impact along the way. She made it look effortless and still always made time for friends (and she had about 928390), so it was always a treat when we could schedule a lunch or coffee date. Post-grad, she moved to the area of the state in which I grew up, and I was thrilled to know she'd still be around for me to harass.

As the end of the summer neared, I made a trip back to the quaint town of Aiken: so different from the days of my chaotic youth, but always so familiar. Early in my undergrad career, Aiken opened a new restaurant that quickly became a favorite hotspot: Tako-Sushi. The concept took a little catching on. When John and I were home for a family weekend soon after it opened we decided to try it, thinking it was going to be a kitschy, themed joint, making its moolah off the "atmosphere" rather than the food. We were pleased to find out it was totally the opposite: fairly upscale with a nice wine and beer list, modern accents and classic notes. Needless to say, it's been a long-time favorite every time I go back to visit.

I had a free night during my trip and was in desperate need of sushi and Sarah's good vibes, so we arranged to meet at Tako-Sushi. The menu is pretty big (not to mention now you have to decide if you want Japanese or Tex-Mex... or can handle both), so our strategy was to split an appetizer from one side of the menu and order our entrees from the other. To get things started, we ordered the "Portadilla": a quesadilla stuffed with portabella mushrooms and goat cheese.

Tako-Sushi's "Portadilla"

I don't think you heard me: PORTABELLA MUSHROOMS and GOAT CHEESE. Melted with a little cheddar and served with homemade salsa and guac', I really thought about ordering a second helping for dessert. SO. GOOD. Sarah's calm and composed nature had certainly rubbed off at this point, as I took my sweet time indulging in this culinary masterpiece.

The anxiety flared up again, though, as it came time to order sushi and I was torn between, ohhhh, seven choices (the poor waitress came around like eight times). I finally settled on the "Firecracker" Roll: Tempura fried tilapia, cream cheese, avocado, and cucumber, topped with masago (smelt eggs) and a spicy apple mayo sauce. Lordhavemercy.

The "Firecracker" Roll

Sarah was also having issues trying to decide, but she landed a winner with the "Crazy" Roll (aka, "Kevin's Roll"). Shrimp tempura and cucumber, topped with fresh shrimp, crab, avocado, and teriyaki glaze and Tako-Sushi's own special sauce.

Sarah K. and her "Crazy" Roll

Naturally, the blend of East-meets-West food complimented our blend of personalities, and our long conversations were equally as delicious and refreshing.

Tako-Sushi has since expanded to several markets in South Carolina. Ironically, I'm so devoted to the Aiken location I haven't been brave enough to try the Columbia one (that whole hipster "never good as the original" complex). But friends who have gone express their excitement for it, so I'm sure I'll get around to trying it soon enough.

So even if you're not necessarily a "taco" or "sushi" kind of person, there is plenty on the menu to choose from and it's a great upscale atmosphere with a casual pace (it IS the south, after all). The experience is especially enhanced if you bring a 'variety' of folks as your company. :)

(Really, she's fabulous --->)

** Please note all B@T foodie posts are done at the whims of the author; i.e., I write & select my reviews at my own leisure with no compensation of any kind. I like sharing my favorite spots & hope you'll support our local businesses!

August Furry.

2011-08-05T10:43:00.001-04:00

As mentioned in several prior postings, August has forever been my "new year" month. While not welcomed with loads of glitter and drunken renditions of a song nobody actually knows the words to, it still launches my "life as I know it" into some other dimension.

(Okay, dimension is a little dramatic, but safe to say it's never been the same thing twice.)

August not only has meant a new school year, but both of my AmeriCorps positions began in August. I always meet new people, get oriented to new things, and discover very quickly that I'm going to be incredibly busy for an unforeseeable amount of time (but still always take on more... whyyy...). Football season is right around the corner, which means things like Thanksgiving and Christmas suddenly become in countdown range. The last of the summer heat peaks and does its worst (usually right around the time I've had to move, which this is -hooray!- the first year in 6 years I haven't had to), and I use every available second to do fun things with friends before the school year eats my social life. It's chaotic and awkward and bittersweet, but August always makes for an interesting transition. It's amazing how I get to this point every year and wondered how I've arrived here.

True to my historical consistency, August 2011 is already picking up and setting new things in motion:

For one, John survived the Bar. While relieved to have the darned thing over (if you see him, please don't ask how he thinks he did), it hardly meant things would slow down. Now tasked with job-searching and preparing for results that might not bode well, we've had to start asking the nit-picky questions and working through all viable options and possible situations we could find ourselves in the coming months -- a difficult quandary for the girlish spaz I am, afraid of uncertainty and too much seriousness. Granted, now that study time is over, we can have these serious conversations with proper adult refreshments. It makes us feel smart and sophisticated, a'la Doris Day and Rock Hudson:

Canvas art image found on www.barewalls.com
*Y'all know that's not sweet tea in there...

Though I learned a lot and am grateful for the experiences I had at my grad assistantship last year (not to mention some of my most-favoritest-people-ever), I accepted a new position as a research assistant with a local grant writing firm in town. It's run by one of the professors in our program as well as the Women & Gender Studies program, and she's already been great to work for. A totally different change of pace and duty from my previous position, but she's really supportive of my fitness and sustainability endeavors (not to mention my photography). She also likes shopping for deals and lunch dates... I think we're going to get a long JUST fine.
I've got an awesome schedule lined up with campus recreation and group exercise, and I'll be teaching a couple of my most faaaavorite formats.... for those of you able to attend my classes, let me know and I'll send you my schedule. :)
As the new kid in charge of our student program, I'm a little nervous about my demands of leadership. Though small, we have a lot we hope to accomplish this year and I really hope we make it work - and then some. I'm really lucky to have a supportive team of fellow student executive members, not to mention some previous alumni who have made their time and talents available to us, so no matter what I think we're already off to a good start for this year. For any of you considering grad school, be sure to get involved with your student group... trust me, I'm pretty sure this is a major reason I've survived as long as I have.

So be advised my will and need to blog is always there, but my time and ability to get my brain to make coherent sentences at the end of the day may be fairly limited in the coming weeks. Just as August came as a surprise, I know September really isn't far off. But, hopefully, I'm better prepared for this year than I was the last one.

And hey, if not, I know where are all the great drink specials are now.

To those of you also experiencing the August Furry (and I know several of you are), know I'm keeping you all in my thoughts, too. :)

So HAPPY NEW YEAR!

**PS. I should've mentioned, too, the annual celebration of John & Celia is also in late August; we'll be celebrating our 9th year together on the 23rd. Makes August even more special... more to come. <3

The Other Woman: Bar Showdown

2011-07-24T23:45:00.001-04:00

The time has come, my friends.

The Finale.

All these years of devotion, of dedication, of trials and tribulations and moments of seeking one's destiny. All for this one chance to prove. it. all.

I'm not talking about Harry freakin' Potter, PEOPLE!

July 25th marks the beginning of a three day battle of wit, speed, & intelligence for newly graduated juris doctorate students everywhere, proving their worth to join the ranks in the field of law.

The Bar.

I've held that Lady Justice, blind and still trusted with a sword, has been the "other woman" in my life for the last three and half years (though "Celia" translated in Latin also means "blind"... how do you like me now, LJ?!). Since John entered law school, I've sat patiently while he spends late nights in the library, weekends included, missing family gatherings and friend's birthdays and sales at Banana Republic while outlines and note cards and briefs and essays take all too serious precedent. I've watched quietly while John slowly turns his blood vessels into streams of coffee and Diet Coke and 5 Hour Energies to squeeze in those last hours of the day. I've listened carefully as John vents his frustrations about professors and material and impossible situations. I've concluded, slowly, that our plans to make that everlasting commitment to one another is going to have to stay on hold... until I get rid of that little hoe-bag, taunting me with her scales.

Now, I think I've been pretty good about not speaking my mind when it comes to being the significant other of a law student. Seeing that I've never set foot in a law class and often still have wild notions of Elle Woods-ian kinds of stories, I felt that I never deserved or had the right to complain - I'm not the one who lives in fear of being called on in class every day. But more so, nearly all the law students I've befriended over the years do little complaining themselves. Maybe it's because they don't think I'll understand; maybe it's because they don't want to bore me. Or, maybe, it's because they are simply some of the strongest, smartest people I know.

But even the strongest of them succumb to the kryptonite that is the Bar Examination. It is quite possibly the most sadistically designed system known to professional certification and academia. And not just the Bar itself; the testing is only the half of it. As I sit here on this incredibly gorgeous Sunday, the day before John walks into the testing venue and life as we know it will begin to change, I can't help but be so frustrated and anxious with the coming days.... and, in essence, the coming months. Inspired by conversations with friends, this post by a former law student, and a similar situation by fellow blogging friend, Nikki at The Loaded Handbag (though she was on the medical side... be sure to read all 5 parts for full effect), I felt compelled to make my one and only rant on being a law school lover.

First of all, imagine your grandiose graduation commencement being shrouded by a cloud of yet more studying and classwork. That's right, people. After three exhausting years of law school (and all the work getting yourself into law school), your graduation hardly means you're in the clear. John graduated on a Friday morning; by that following Monday, he was already back in class for Bar review. Five days a week, all day long, two and a half months to go. GOOD. BYE. any hopes of enjoying the summer.
Now imagine your program in undergrad: Imagine you had two months to re-study EVERYTHING you've ever done. Imagine this is now graduate level, needing to know things in full detail, AND if you somehow didn't get into a class that would be presented on this horrible exam - good luck teaching yourself an entire semester's worth of information. Imagine no study guides to even begin narrowing down the information. Imagine bleeding your highlighter dry on the first day.
To make things more exciting, the Bar examiners expect you to be proficient in legal statutes and code UP TO the time of the test. For instance, a legal matter of insurance here in SC was just put into effect as of Friday... everything the students have learned up until this point could be totally altered, if not completely wrong now. Yes, Bar administrators will take it into account.
You can't be a practicing attorney until you've passed the Bar. Fair enough - we expect our lawyers to be competent in the law, just as our doctors in medicine or our educators in teaching. However, there's a serious gap in time and circumstances that seem horribly overlooked:
.:: Graduation = mid-May. Bar exam = end of July. Results = END OF OCTOBER. After three years of law school, nearly three months of studying, and three days of testing (I have mentioned testing is three full days, right?)... it takes almost three months to know if it was all worth it.
.:: So, not only were you squeezing the last of your students loans to help you survive through the summer while you can't work because your job is studying for this frickin'-frackin' test, but now you have to sit and wait another three months to see if you're actually good for something. Did I mention the average student debt for law students is $100,000 and loans are expected to be repaid immediately after graduation? Did I also mention the legal market is PAINFUL? Last I read (and sorry for being unable to find the report) but there's approximately one attorney position for every three law graduates here in South Carolina. In some states its worse, with 8-12 per every one position.
.:: Throwing salt in the wound, budgets for most agencies and corporations run on a July 1 - June 30th schedule. Meaning, most places won't know what the hiring forecast is like until early or mid-June. MEANING, if you've been applying to be hired once the Bar is over at the end of July (to work as what are known as "super clerks" - attorneys in that betwixt stage of graduation and awaiting their Bar accreditation), there's a darn good chance they'll call you with a "We're sorry, but we can't afford to hire any new positions" speech. Which is exactly what happened to many people I know. So? Now you're a few weeks away from the biggest, scariest, toughest test of your LIFE - the one that determines if all your late nights in the library, your extreme amount of debt, your three years of completely detaching yourself from the real world and the people in it to pursue your dream of a legal career - and you're left to duke it out with your colleagues (even your own friends) for a shot at being employed. But, unfortunately, any time spent searching for jobs means time away from studying. And if you don't pass... you're certainly out of the running.
Even more degrading is how you find out about the test. A nice private note in the mail? A phone call from a concerned Bar examination support team? A private little room a'la American Idol where you sit down and review your work and your overall result? NO! On that cold, dreary day in October, you log on to a stupid website (that anyone can look up - here's an example from the February 2010 SC Bar) where the names of all who passed are published for the whole world to see. Great if you did pass. For those that didn't, you have an "identifying number" published at the bottom. AWESOME.
Pretend instead of your name at the top, you see your number at the bottom. After the initial trauma and devastation begins to let up, you're faced with two options: running away and joining the circus, or taking the Bar again. Should you choose to re-take it, you have to wait. UNTIL FEBRUARY. Four more months of studying, no employment, and loans still piling up. You'll have to survive Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years surrounded by family and friends who all know YOU. DIDN'T. PASS. After taking the Bar the 2nd time, provided you do pass this time, you'll have to wait until May to get your results. The waiting game continues.

For John, myself, and many people in the same boat, we're all so ready for it simply to be over with... but at the same time, we're terrified of what's to come next. Several have tried to imagine how they'll react if they fail. Some act like they already have. Preparing for the worst seems to be the only coping mechanism for many.

John and all of his law school friends and colleagues (and should you know any law students going through the same thing) don't need cheerleaders. They don't need to hear "you'll be fine" or "you'll totally pass" or "you can always take it again." They don't need examples of people who failed the first time and "turned out okay." They don't need testing or stress-management advice.

They need prayers, a listening ear, and the knowledge that their closest friends & family are thinking good thoughts and sending them positive vibes... and are willing to be supportive no matter what the results.

For those of us who have held their hands through this experience - the significant others, the siblings, the parents, the mentors and close friends - pray for us, too. We're going to have to know what to say should the worst happen as it happens. All this time there's been little we could do: we'd slow them down if we helped them study, we'd be in the way if we tried to plan "exam breakers," etc. The best we can do is "be there." And personally as someone who's prone to fixing problems and wants to see things go as smoothly as possible, it's been disheartening to know that even my biggest attempts and best intentions might not be enough....

I doubt I'll sleep well the next few days. I doubt more John will get any better rest. I know law school didn't truly prepare him or his colleagues for this experience, but I do know he's done all that he could. It's up to circumstance and the Big Guy at this point.

And on Wednesday night, it will be up to Jose.

The Quarter-Century Life Crisis is the New Mid-Life Crisis. Little Black Dress Optional.

2011-07-22T15:05:00.003-04:00

One month.

And my last official summer will be... OVAH.

WHERE. DID. IT. GO...

While I did get my awesome family vacation and my schedule is considerably less ridiculous than the previous school year, the last couple of months have proven frustrating and confusing. It's been a humid, hazy rush of summer school, working on photography projects, helping John prepare for the Bar (and the possible major life changes thereafter), teaching fitness classes like crazy, and, worst of all, figuring out what to do with the rest of my life. The extra time in my schedule has left me alone with my thoughts... and frankly, those thoughts are more real and heavy than any 30 page writing assignment. The anxiety of not knowing what's next and having no real control over what's going to happen in the coming months has made enjoying my time off from school almost worse than my 100 hour work weeks. The feeling that maybe I wasted my summer has me even more wound-up. Thus continues the vicious cycle.

Ugh.

I am twenty-five years old and still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I don't feel like settling down and I don't feel like I've seen or done enough. I've got a serious case of wanderlust, taxes and insurance scare the bejeezus out of me, and gin is far more interesting than home decor and bed linens (sorry, fancy friends). Student debt is forever in the back of my head, but all I can think about is the newly released boots for fall at Anthropologie for which I'm considering donating a kidney to be able to buy (thanks a lot to Carly over at AGC for making me dream of cooler temps and warm fall fashioooon)....

I grew up to be a highly ambitious kid. I was the self-motivated, all-A student with an obsession for detail and planning and protocol. I worked hard and made sure everyone knew it. I had a lot motivating me to get out of the small place I lived and not stop until I was the one running the show. I didn't like things easy or simple. I didn't like not being busy. I thought the only way to be anyone or anything was to burn my candle at both ends... and never ask for help.

But deep down, I was a goofy kid with a hearty grin and a kind of confidence that let me wear a red & black mixed patterned bathing suit with a faded orange scrunchie.

I turned that crappy little plastic pool and flimsy chairs into an oasis rivaling Atlantis, sipping kool-aid cocktails with my equally stylish sister (on the right). Summers meant a chance to let my imagination catapult into new dimensions, exacerbated by my intense love for reading, old movies, and running in calculated, dizzying spirals that set me into the most brilliant trance. I caused considerable concern to my parents, but little did they know I was developing my creative processes.

And at twenty-five years old, I've collided into myself. A big, fiery, noxious explosion of WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME just erupted in the crossroads of my life.

And dang-it-all, if there's one thing I've learned in my quarter-century on this planet, it's that cool guys don't look back at explosions.

Looks like I'm going to need those Anthropologie boots* after all.
(*Not to mention Nancy Sinatra's beehive bump and fab lashes. I've already got the sculpted legs covered.)

I'm over the fact that 25 is "old." I'm over the "20-something" complex that expects me to feel like a washed up old hag because I'm not married, having kids, working a sexy job, or drinking cosmos with gal pals and complaining about EVERYTHING. I'm over the repressed feelings of guilt for taking the extra time to find out what makes me happy and, dare I say, passionate about, and for exploring my my interests before settling on the first convenient option. I'm over selling myself short because I don't have a fancy name badge or office. I know what's important to me, and I'm trying to simplify my life so I can properly devote my energy and enthusiasm to the right causes. To the right people. To the right battles and moments of truth. To the people who are selflessly willing to help. To the appropriate times of existing, right then and there, for no other reason than just because.

I'm over being patronized for having a need to fulfill something and move and shake until positive and innovative changes come to parts of our daily lives that are in such desperate need of it. I'm over the idea that I need to be moving 100mph until I've exploded or every second of "free time" means I should be "productive."

Out of my collision, I've decided that merging my doofy, mismatched inner creative spirit with my disciplined, all-A, Type-A quirks is okay (for the record, what IS a "Type-B"?).

I am twenty-five years old and I will take my fresh stack of magazines hijacked from a friend who's moving and go sit at the pool I have free access to because that's where I am in my life. Beating my head against the wall in hopes all my sent emails and phone calls and resumes and applications will suddenly yield a slew of results if I sit in my apartment and wait by the computer is, obviously, not going to happen. But a tan... that could happen.

And in honor of my five-year-old self, I will wear a mismatched suit.

C'mon, July. We have some catching up to do.

--------------

For for those of you interested, the Celia G Photographie page has been created! View lastest and favorite work, and shoot me an email for rates, details, or just to let me know what you think. :D

Vacation Hangover. (Gimme an aspirin, would ya?)

2011-07-18T10:10:00.000-04:00

Jimminy crickets, Batman. I've been back from vacay for a week now, and I'm sad to say it took me that long to get readjusted with "life as I know it." The week following my hiatus from reality proved challenging: a sinus infection, major car trouble, major omg-I-don't-have-a-job-for-the-school-year trouble, teaching fitness classes after almost 10 days of no typical workouts (I traded my chocolate covered doughnuts for a squishy plastic one, if-you-know-what-I-mean), and helping my sister find an apartment while trying to get John together in his final weeks of Bar review.

In other words, I haven't been able to really catch up to where I need to be.
(But vacation or not, are we ever where we need to be?)

Either way, Life just got REAL (which is NOT the same as getting back to "real life"), and there are some conversations, situations, and personal details I've had to face in the last few days that will ultimately shape the next few months... and in some cases, my bizarre little world as I know it.

BRING IT, all you powerful cosmic forces and matters of destiny!

My trip to NC was ridiculously wonderful, and I think it was needed more than I knew it. As frazzled as I was returning to the real Carolina (yeah, I said it), it gave me the resiliency I needed trudge forward and shape new perspectives. Feeling well-rested and having a sexy new tan was a fabulous plus.

So after a week of recovery from my week of holiday, I'll be making strides to end this summer with a hootenanny and sha-bang. And to think, I only have a month left to do so... :(
So stay tuned, Readers... more is on the way.

***Can I also say that I'm embarrassed that when I wrote the previous post prior to leaving vacation, one of the things that prompted me to write it but woefully went unmentioned was the fact that my beloved USC Gamecocks won their second National Championship in mens baseball. In a ROW.

I will always be a fan of garnet & black. :)

My Heart is Light & My Trunk is Heavy. Vacation Time, Fools!

2011-07-01T13:02:00.000-04:00

I'm thrilled to announce that this post (though hastily written with an obvious hint of I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF! scattered stream of consciousness) is a dramatic and wonderful opposite from the previous post. July has already proven to be far more full of promise and excitement than June could've ever hoped to have been... but I firmly believe you can't appreciate the amazing without a little journey to get there first. I put in my hard work, fought my anxieties, dealt with the stress and frustration. Now it's time to reclaim my motivation and trudge forward with a new-found creative energy.

I'll start with cocktail by the beach, please!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I'm taking off for a whopping TEN day vacation to the other Carolina. Staying with my super awesome pal, Tracy J. (see the "Cafe Strudel" post below!), hanging out with my (almost painfully hilarious) family traveling all the way from Michigan, and spending some quality beach time with the seester who I haven't seen since I saw her off to her study abroad trip almost seven weeks ago. Oh! And ever faithful reader (and commenter!) Allie B. will be making a guest appearance during the final leg my trip. Fab.u.lous.

(Pssst... Did I mention there will be plenty of festive libations and we're pretty much confined on an island with no where to go... it's goin' DOWN!)

I've got my camera gear, plenty of reading, newly downloaded tunes, a new bathing suit, a stash that looks like I raided a mini-bar (dear Lord, please don't let me be pulled over), and the pups are itching to be seaside, trading in their usual squirrel hunting for seagulls (MINE!).

Other exciting things?

My parents are celebrating their 28th wedding anniversary today (July 1st)! I hope they celebrate it like they normally do... dinner at a cheap ethnic restaurant, intense conversations harping on all the stupid things in the world, and bed by 10pm. So romantic!
The Capital City just won a free fruit orchard, sponsored by Edy's! Some of y'all were bombarded with my pleas to vote - but look, it paid off! No more annoying emails or Facebook invites from me... swears. :)
As Becky W. (from the "Group Project" post below) has brought to my attention, we have FIFTY days of no school until the fall semester starts. DING DANG.
In approximately 27 days, John will have finished taking the South Carolina Bar. Then begins the two agonizing months of waiting until we find out the results, but at least we can start seeing each other more than once a week. HECK YEAAH.
Fourth of July. One of my ALL TIME favorite holidays. Seriously, it's always so exciting and full of good food and the patriotism is often so wonderfully overwhelming. As cheesy as it sounds, it is UH-mazing all that we have and all we can become here in the United States of America. I have my gripes, but overall, I feel pretty darn tootin' lucky.

So I'll be blissfully out of my routine for the next week and a half, meaning I have no idea what the posting situation is like... but you rest assured I will have plenty to report upon returning. :)

FARE THEE WELL!

-C

Group Projects: Welcome to My Nightmare

2011-06-30T09:33:00.007-04:00

(*Original post date: Sat, June 25th)
The following is a long read, but I promise it's highly entertaining... the sadistic kind, where it's hilarious because it's SO illogical... it's summer, you have time to read: No excuses! =P

-----

Just as I'm convinced Heaven is a melded collection of our very most favorite moments, people, and things in life, I truly believe our Hell is just the opposite. Times a bajillion. Yup, everything in our earthly life that terrified, irritated, confused, overwhelmed, and generally thrust us into full-on psycho panic-attack mode and haunted our dreams will be awaiting us in the Underworld, should that be our fate. My Hell? I'll have a perpetual cheap booze hangover, everyday will be welcomed by the excruciating "my period just started" cramps, my coffee will be eternally scorching hot and taste like dog doo, I'll be stuck in traffic with soccer moms in big stupid suburbans and 90 year old ladies in Oldsmobiles everywhere I go, I will spill said scorching dog-doo coffee all over everything, there will be screaming toddlers and sweaty old fat men with phlegmy coughs EVERYWHERE, and it'll always be Sunday before a big exam I'm wholly not prepared for, and worse, I'll constantly crave Chic-Fil-A and can't have it. But NOTHING -- do you hear me? -- NOTHING will even begin to compare to the worst torture of them all: GROUP PROJECTS.

Yes, my friends, I'm living my Hell.

RIGHT NOW.

Taking my current summer class was a bad idea for a number of reasons; but the group project assignment (that I should mention is worth 50% of our grade - not a joke - and was given to us TWO WEEKS before the assignment was due) should've sent me running to the Bursars Office to demand my money - and my summer - back. Need I also remind you, this is GRADUATE level class with "professional" level students... and aside from a few folks who actually give a flippin' hoot about this class, the rest of my "colleagues" make me feel like I'm banished to summer school with the rest of the delinquents. So far in my group project, I've dealt with the following:

1) One student completely plagiarized their section; when confronting the student, they responded: "Well, I was just stating the facts." YEAH, clearly you were because you COPIED & PASTED pieces to your section and DIDN'T EVEN CHANGE THE FONT or cite properly (c'mooon, EZ Mac is more frustrating that APA). Oh, and when we set the minimum of 4 pages (that's right people: FOUR pages, not fourteen, not forty, not even FIVE), we get back 3 double-spaced pages and one sentence hanging on the fourth page. With a BIG picture in the middle. MY section? 5 pages, single spaced.

2) The student who was asked to write the introduction started off with a run-on sentence that went on for three lines and had NOTHING to do with the project. The student ended the intro paragraph with: "So today we're going to talk about..."Needless to say, I completely re-wrote it.

3) One student used Wikipedia as a source. WIKIPEDIA, people. Even the freshmen class I TA'd for this past year knew better than that.

4) After staying up late EVERY night this week to get my part done, sent out for feedback, and prepare for editing and creating the Ppt presentation, I sent out a list of notes, suggestions, helpful links, and examples based off of what the assignment called for. Then I get this super lovely email back from one of my team members:

"Celia dear,
I am trying not to get upset but I have a few issues with the way this group project is being handled.
First, I have noticed that you have given directions to everyone but Andrew. The only reason my name is not included in this e-mail is because I get my instructions separately in other e-mails.[*] Or was I the "and everbody"?

Secondly, if you want to write this paper yourself please let us know as I prefer not to waste my time. What I will NOT do is spend my time writing my part only to have you rewrite it.
Finally, there is a difference between giving suggestions to be helpful and trying to get people to do things the way you want them done. You are not giving ideas in your message below but a to-do list for certain portions of the paper. We are all graduate students who have different areas of expertise which makes us all assets to this group and project.

In conclusion, I have three degrees[**] on my wall (including a law degree) and I am about to get another. This means I actually passed a bar in my lifetime. Please do not assume that I lack the intelligence to complete a group project. I may be wrong but this is the message that is being conveyed with these e-mails."

(Did I mention this particular student has a religious quote in their email signature and said they couldn't turn in their information by Sunday because they're busy with church?)

So I called this student IMMEDIATELY to apologize for my "mis-conveyed message" and explain my intentions and ask how I could make it up to them, and this person sat quietly on the phone (after pretending not to know who I was even though I called within 5min of the email they sent). While I think it cleared the air enough to move forward, I realized there some people who are just all-around bad people and they're not going to change. OH, and as the old saying goes: "Never confuse eduction with intelligence."

*Side note: the "separate emails"? YEAH, they were a link to a document I found that I thought was relevant to their section and eventually put in the notes to EVERYONE to check out.

**Facebook comment from Melissa V.: "Nice bragging about your three degrees - you may pay for school but you can't buy class!" So hilarious and so true, Melissa!

In a series of rage-filled rant sessions with fellow grad program crony and summer class prisoner, Becky W. (who is stranded in a notoriously bad group herself), I asked if she'd contribute to a post about our explicit and overwhelming disgust and disdain for group projects. The following interview I'm sure will conjure up some serious empathy for group project victims all over the world:

Describe group projects in ONE word:
Despair.

What is the worst thing about group projects?
The range of emotions that come from the assignment. Rage, fear, despair, loss, FURY, pity followed by wallowing, the binge eating, starvation due to stress, OH THE STRESS, contemplation of dropping the class, followed by the numbers crunch- figuring out how low of a grade you can get and still pass the class.

Describe some of your more memorable project members:
Well, there was the girl who pulled the "my computer crashed while I was driving five minutes (ps, she ended up being an hour and thirty minutes late to our meeting) before I was supposed to meet with you to compile our paper." She wept openly in TCoop and glared at us as she "rewrote" her paper. I didn't pity the fool and made a scene unleashing my fury at her in a rage-filled rant of her inadequacies in the middle of the library. She cried. Again.

Too bad she never emailed us her paper earlier before the crash, as requested. Also amazing, was how her computer resurrected itself after she realized we wouldn't write her paper.

Of your "list of things you hate in life", where does "group projects" rank?

Somewhere between getting stuck next to screaming babies on a 15 hour plane ride and the feeling after your computer crashes without a back-up.

Name three things you'd do to get out of a group project:

1. Bribery through baked goods, alcohol, dog walking, etc.

2. Naming my first born after the Professor

3. Organizing a particular Professor's office. Monthly. Until he retires.

I can't even begin to imagine who or what thought these were a good idea. To this day, I don't buy the whole "well, you'll have to do this in the 'real world'" hub-bub; guess what, I'm sure I will, but then jobs and big money are on the line. If you do a horrible job, your reputation gets blasted all over town. Side note? You'll have a 40hour work week to figure this mess out... try when you're busy with other horrible classes, managing student groups, working two other jobs... Ugh!

Finally (I promise!), there is a hilarious video that basically says everything I feel about group projects. Be warned there is some SERIOUS profanity (be prepared to do some mental "bleeping"), but it's too funny and I love what he says at the end...

And there you have it.

I have to survive 5-ish more days of this ridiculousness then I'm FREE! through the end of July. And by FREE!, I mean tanked on the best gin (my limited) money can buy!

Pray for me.

------
UPDATE: Presented last night. It was awful. But it's over. And $2 draft night immediately ensued. It hasn't hit me that it's over. Or that I'm going on vacation for TEN DAYS starting tomorrow... Yes. Ma'am. :D

Foodie Post #6: Cafe Strudel

2011-06-19T20:48:00.004-04:00

Ah-ha! After a very frustrating though incredibly creative afternoon, the *NEW* Breakfast at Target blog is here! Aside from a few minor kinks still waiting to be sorted out, it's right about where I want it. I needed something a little more sassy, a little more stylish - something that would better help me better to reflect my constant Holly Golightly-esque transformations. Feedback, per usual, is definitely appreciated.

---------------------

Another blissful hot, sunny Sunday has come and gone; despite my summer course and its rather irritating homework, my recent Sundays have been fairly less traumatic than they were over the school year. No 7am Monday fitness class to plan. No piles of reading and overwhelming weekly "to do" lists reminding me of 5 crazy days of little sleep and too much coffee. No midnight freak-outs when I forgot to add things to said list.

Instead - surprisingly - my Sundays have been greeted with lots of sunshine, wake-up calls well past the crack of dawn, and, if I'm really lucky, a divine hangover - the kind only a bottle of Nior and late night chats can bring. The only thing better is the chance to throw on the closest (cleanest?) sundress, spray some revitalizing mist on your hair, grab a big pair of dark shades, and head to brunch.

BRUNCH

How I love thee.

A recent weekend brought a long-time college friend, Tracy, who's presence not only gave us both the chance to obsessively rant, vent, and gush, but also to eat and drink. Heavily. At the end of her mini-vacation from her current residence in North Carolina, we decided to have a farewell brunch at Cafe Strudel. LORD HAVE MERCY, I forgot how superb this place was... and how packed it gets. It's a tiny little place that sits in an old townhouse, right across the bridge from the VISTA in the Capital City.

It's got a really cute and relaxed coffee house vibe, and it's also a great place to find local art which is displayed throughout the two story building. It has tons of coffee options and pastries, too, if you're in the mood for something light but still tasty (or your head is still reeling from what made you think that vodka was your friend).

*Tracy and her "small" cappuccino.

Though certainly not just a brunch place (open for lunch and dinner, too!), the menu has plenty to choose from, mostly breakfast favorites with a special twist but plenty of other options as well, but to be honest - there are a few things you MUST try (and prepare yourself to crave every Sunday from henceforth).

The first is the french toast. Three big pieces of Hawaiian bread dipped in a batter with a hint of vanilla and cinnamon, it comes dusted with powder sugar and a side of your choice of eggs and two pieces of bacon or sausage (you can opt for the turkey kind, too, as I do). Extremely soft and fluffy, never greasy and with just the right amount of sweetness, the french toast is perfect if you're in the mood for something sweet and savory. It's usually too much to eat in one sitting, so half comes home with me and makes for a great late night snack.

And as UHHHmazing as the french toast is, Cafe Strudel boasts another favorite that is worth EVERY bite: the Hangover Hashbrowns. Tracy, knowing it'd be a while before she'd be back, pretty much knew she was going to order them before we even got in the car.

Diced potatoes scrambled with tomatoes, onions, and banana peppers, then topped with cheese and your choice of egg, the Hangover Hashbrowns are phenomenal whether you spent Saturday night hitting the bottle or not. Much like Audrey did, apparently.

After our leisurely brunch and final rounds of girl talk, it was time for the pups and I to say farewell to Tracy and send her home to her beach town in NC (and hope our weekend of gluttony didn't put her in snooze mode once she got to the interstate). Putting my trusty Nikon on self-timer, we tried to get a good shot to commemorate the weekend:

*I with Audrey & Tracy with Sean Luca. Take One.

*Take Two.

Traded dogs to see if that would help....

*And we give up....

So whether you're in full on lazy Sunday mode or in need of a yummy way to kick off your week, Cafe Strudel has just the thing and the perfect atmosphere for an unassuming culinary feast. Enjoy!

** Please note all B@T foodie posts are done at the whims of the author; i.e., I write & select my reviews at my own leisure with no compensation of any kind. I like sharing my favorite spots & hope you'll support our local businesses!

Say "Gno" to Gnats

2011-06-14T21:05:00.004-04:00

Summer comes with happy, heat-seared tidings: weekends by the pool, tons of fresh seasonal fruits and veggies, catch up on overdue reading, sundresses, and the excuse to actually shave your legs and paint your toenails (good bye, pants!).

But the new season also brings plenty of unwelcome little guests, and I'm not talking about your friend's bratty kids off from school for the summer. No, at least those rugrats will eventually leave (you hope). I'm talking about the gross little buggers with wings and four legs or more. (Again, still not talking about the kids here.)

Nah, y'all... I mean BUGS!

I live in an old, tiny apartment; the windows and doors aren't sealed very well, and there's some general wear-and-tear that comes with an early twentieth century building -- the kind that insects just seem to figure out well enough to wreak havoc. As I bring in more fresh produce and the rising heat pushes bugs to cooler areas, I get the pleasure of spending more time trying to keep them at bay. The ants were fairly significant, but I tamed those with the good old-fashioned ant traps found at the drug store.

The worst of them all were the nasty gnats, or "fruits flies," buzzing and flying in scattered patterns -- usually with the uncanny ability to go straight to my eyes. GROSS. After a few days of scrubbing my kitchen and sealing my fruits and veggies, they were still bad. I immediately went out to see what remedies there were. Costing anywhere from $8-20, the options were exhausting - powders, strips, sprays, fumes - not to mention laden with weird chemicals and suggestions to be replaced every couple of weeks. Not willing to spend that much money on stupid bugs, I went home empty-handed to my lab of an apartment.

Reading reviews about which product would work best, it all boiled down to one conclusion: they all sucked. Finally at the point of giving up, I tried a quick Google search for "home gnat removal"; a plethora of things popped up for easy ways to safely and economically rid your house of gnats using things you already have. I clicked on a couple of links that all basically called for the same 'ingredients':

Dish soap

Apple cider vinegar

Glass jar

Paper

I had all of them on hand and it took me approximately 2min to search for them. What took me the longest, really, was rolling the piece of paper into the cone that would eventually go in the jar (and because I'm a 4-year-old, I decorated it with some markers so it'd at least look pretty in my kitchen).

Pour in the apple cider vinegar, enough to cover the bottom of the jar (used about a half cup in mine). The vinegar, though less than appealing to us, is incredibly attractive to gnats.

Place the paper cone inside the jar, but make sure you've tested that there's a little bit of room between the vinegar and the paper. The cone keeps them from flying back out (they're too stupid to figure out which way they came in - ha!).

Putting just a little dish soap (about what you'd squeeze on a sponge to clean a medium load of dishes), it makes the liquid a little more thick - and makes the vinegar smell a little less funky.

And you're done!

I was a little skeptical it wasn't going to work. The smell was definitely weird and the gnats didn't seem instantly attracted. I left it out on the kitchen counter for about 24hrs, close to where the trash is located, and turns out it worked like a charm.

Here at about 12 hours.

And here at about 24.

DIE, LITTLE SUCKERSSSS, DIE!

My kitchen, though it smelled a little odd, was almost completely free of the "gnastsy" gnats, all but for a few rebels fighting the urge to jump into the cone of shame. I replace the vinegar and soap every 3-5 days, and thus far it's been a wonder. It cost me absolutely nothing and took all of 5min to make. Even better? It's totally safe (for everyone but the gnats, that is), no chemicals, and dang cheap -- soap and cider vinegar cost about $3 at the grocery store and I used an old salsa jar. It inspired me to look up other easy eco- and economically friendly ideas for household needs; I'll be sure to let you know how they turn out.

As far of getting rid of the bratty kids?

Sorry, bubs, y'all are on your own.

(Though a splash of vodka in their Kool-Aid might calm them down REAL quick...)

------------

Do you have any similar ideas or strategies for simple household remedies? Don't be a Scrooge - share!

Audrey the Squirrel Hunter

2011-06-07T20:14:00.002-04:00

The current onslaught of environmental disasters and my summer course, POLI 797: Emergency Management, have me appropriately freaked out about the impending chaos that is a massive disaster. From my class, I've learned two very important things:

1) In an emergency situation, I'd be completely useless.

2) If the Capital City is ever hit with a catastrophic event, WE'RE ALL DOOMED.

It's not necessarily my lack of faith in our "emergency" personnel or the apathetic attitudes of my fellow citizens (OKAY, yes it is), but let's get real... the whole reason a distaster is a distaster is because we often don't know what to expect. And when we do, it's two seconds too late.

SO! In preparation for something devastating, I've started taking measures to ensure my survival... or at least I can keep myself alive until a hunky firefighter comes and finds me. Some of those things include scanning and backing up important documents, keeping stashes of non-perishables close, and keeping a first aid kit handy. Another?

Putting my dogs through RIGOROUS PHYSICAL TRAINING.

Now that the days are getting longer, I can take my pups to a big lawn in front of an office building down the street and let them get run free. They think they're "frolicking." Little do they know I'm testing their wit and stamina so they'll be prepared. PREPARED FOR THE WORST.

In case I'm ever stranded and my perishables run out, I've encouraged my (not-so) lean (kinda) mean fighting machines to chase the squirrels that swarm the lawn in case we need the meat to survive, a'la Oregon trail. Sean Luca's a bit of pro, but poor Audrey can't seem to figure out what to do. After a throaty pep talk (pup talk?), she locked in on her target... SHE'S GONNA DOOOO THIS.

Determined to go for the gold, she knows she needs to cut off the little sucker at the pass...

Locking in, she's got a clear trajectory and open space.
EAT IT, SQUIRREL!

Just as the squirrel kicks it in high gear,
Audrey goes for WARP SPEED!

Using her cheetah like abilities, she starts to close in....

Just then the squirrel thinks he can make a fast turn and play Audrey for a fool....

AAAAANNNND!

........

.... and...

The unsuspecting sinkhole strikes again....

... she sits back up, and the squirrel: GONE.

Hot, bothered, and defeated, she returns to me at the other side of the yard, head hung low, and knows she needs to do better next time.

So when I ask my young cadet in training what she had to say for herself, this is all she could muster....

YUP. DOOMED.

So moral of the story: Better buy a few more boxes of Cheez-Its and Oreos.

------------------------------------

*Side note: The export process is jerking around with the photos and putting that random watermark on there... working on the techy stuff to figure that out...

**More important side note: Emergency situations actually are very serious things and it's amazing how many people don't even know how to prepare. To get started and have your own plan, you can click here. Also, in light of recent distasters, especially those in the midwest, you can also help with the relief by visiting the Red Cross for either a monetary or blood donation. Remember what goes around comes around, and there may be a day you'll be the one who needs help!

Foodie Post #5: Garden Bistro (SC)

2011-06-04T10:15:00.003-04:00

Have you ever had one of those weeks in which your To Do list was manageable, you only had a few important things on the calendar, and overall you looking forward to a nice, quiet "catch up" week... only to find yourself turning your To Do list into a nightmare of chicken scratch, realizing you had more to do than you thought, and generally coming to the end of the week and wondering what the McDoo-Doo happened? Ah, YUP. That was this past week. Needless to say I'm a little behind in posting, but I've got a great line up coming your way and a new blog addy, thanks to THE coolest man in my life, John, who bought the domain name so I can ride to blogging glory. Yee-haw!

-----------------

It's no surprise yours truly and fellow B@T readers are pretty serious about their food. Reminding myself of this very important fact, it dawned on me recently that it has been WAY too long since doing a foodie review of favorite places for good eats. More importantly, I haven't taken the time to showcase any dining establishments here in the Capital City, a locale that's frequently discredited for having any "good places to eat"-- I beg to differ. Having spent four years here in undergrad and venturing back some time later, now as a disgruntled Masters student (grad school makes you CRANKY, y'all), I still find refuge and comfort in many restaurants and eateries throughout my beloved "Cola." Quick, too, to remind me of this point is fellow blogger and long-time gal pal, Sarah, who shares an equal appreciation for a well-deserved lunch date (and with as much as we both work, every date is just that).

SO, to kick off what I hope to be the first of many foodie reviews to come, Sarah suggested we start off at one of Columbia's best kept secret: Garden Bistro. I certainly didn't need to be asked twice. Sarah and I have frequented it more than we like to admit (but I can show you my "Garden Club Card" if you want an idea... I'll have a free sandwich before I know it!); seriously, they talk to Sarah like she's single-handedly keeping them in business. And I have to say we would've never discovered it if it weren't for our other super pal, Tracy, another lunch date aficionado who now lives in NC and is sorely missed from our mid-day face-stuffings. Likewise, where I worked as a grad assistant this past year constantly used GB for their catering, and we always had a pleasant and easy experience doing business with them.

Garden Bistro hosts traditional sandwiches, wraps, and salads, but there's always an unexpected twist or addition that gives it incredible mouth-watering appeal. Not to mention, their ingredients are super fresh and flavorful - I'm aways full and happy at the end of the meal, but never feel like I need to crawl under my desk to nap off the bloat. The menu is diverse but not overwhelming, but it still doesn't help that all the selections look so stinkin' good. Surprisingly, it's one of the few places I often venture out of my usual forces of habit and often try the daily specials; it's great in that they're always UH-mazing, and then I don't feel bad for cheating on my "regular favorite" (the Athena Wrap, OHMYGOODNESS) because I know it'll be a while before it rolls around again. That particular day they had a wrap stuffed with thinly-sliced oven-roasted turkey, maple-cured bacon, provolone, tomato, lettuce, and a tangy mustard sauce. It was served warm and SO delicious.

Let me also take a minute here to SWOON over how phenomenal their potato salad is. YES, I'm aware that it's proooobably not the healthiest thing on the menu, but I can't help myself. Judge all you want.

Sarah's a pretty big fan of their chicken salad sandwich; it's not the heavy Southern mayo-laden version you'd find most places. Tangy but a little sweet (I'm a big fan of the golden raisins), it's also just a darned pretty sandwich... any dish that plays to more than just a sense of taste is always a WIN.

And just as their potato salad is pretty magical, the pasta salad is no less a contender. Perfect in its simplicity and sprinkled with just enough spices, it's a slice of carb-heaven without the guilt. Well, too much anyways...

So how does one find this secret Garden Bistro? It literally is hidden and a hole-in-the-wall; the address says Gervais, but you're better off entering off Park Street. The larger entrance is behind Columbia's Art Bar, and they have free parking for GB guests (just don't take a super long lunch, because the tow-men are like vultures).

Don't let the sketch-ball entryway fool ya'. Once you get inside, the walls are covered in garden and nature inspired murals and the natural light pours in from the little windows around the back entrance. It's also nice that it IS so "exclusive" in that it's never freakishly busy and it's a very relaxed atmosphere -- even when they closed at 2pm and Sarah and I are still gabbing on incessantly, they graciously let us hang out to wrap up our conversations (and luckily Sarah and I exercised good judgement and wrapped up quickly, deciding not to push our luck).

Overall, I'm obsessed with this place and it's embarrassing how I crave it again days after going. Who knows what they're lacing their selections with to get you instantly addicted, but I. don't. care. It's also reasonably priced, especially considering their ingredients are healthy and fresh. Nothing ever tastes processed or like it had been sitting out. Sarah and I are definitely fans and will certainly be there again soon. Care to join?

-------------

** Please note all foodie posts are done at the whims of the author; i.e., I write and select my reviews at my own leisure with no compensation of any kind. I like sharing my favorite spots and hope you'll support our local businesses!

Workin' On My Cred. (The "Edited" Update)

2011-05-27T08:30:00.005-04:00

Read Part I.

I've never really written a follow-up post. Never really had to. But my previous writings below got more attention than any post I've written. EVER. The interesting part? It was all incredibly thoughtful, insightful, and even empathetic feedback. Aside from the blog comments, I received multiple emails, Facebook messages, texts messages, and even a couple of phone calls. I was overwhelmed, but in a good way. I appreciated every word and sentiment. (I felt like Oprah, y'all!) In response to the response, below is an update:

------------------

A very wise man from ancient Greece once said:

"Gratitude is the sign of noble souls."

- Aesop

Not only does Aesop have a fun name to say ("Aaaae-SOP!"), but his simple words prove to be incredibly poignant... particularly in an age where things aren't so civilized.

Upon publishing my previous post, I discovered that, while my frustrations were justified, some stemmed from miscommunication errors, simple lapses in judgement, or honest-to-goodness misunderstanding of proper (and legal) sharing etiquette. In a time where anyone can purchase a decent camera and call themselves a "photographer" (another post on that issue soon enough...), where often one's online presence and image mean more than one's real-life one, and where things are exchanging in mere seconds over digital outlets, I had to take a step back and realize that technology is moving way faster than the proper and expected protocol can keep up. To many people, a shared photograph isn't thought of as "property"; and being that it's an image, it's meant to be shared and looked at and appreciated. Since writing my last post, here's what I've learned and ways YOU can be more proactive:

The internet is NOT a bubble. Read the privacy notices. Whether we like it or not, there are people and things who can access our info and every day we're more connected than the next. As terrifying as that is (or maybe I'm the only one), it also means that there are opportunities to stumble on and/or share things we'd never have known about in the first place. If you don't claim where you got something, 1) the original creator loses an opportunity to get credit for their work, and 2) if the original creator finds you using their stuff without asking, you can make someone REEEEALLY angry. Or worse, find yourself in major doo-doo.
Be knowledgeable of copyright notices and acknowledge your sources. Whether it's a photo, a link, a quote or idea, if it's not something you created - link it back! It takes two seconds, covers your behind, and rightfully gives credit to the creator - WIN! All those crappy song lyrics your friend uses for FB status updates? Yup, copyrighted. That watermark I put in the corner of published photos? It's not just a fancy name-tag. Just because you crop it out or add your own 'personal' touch, it doesn't mean you now have ownership - not only is that rude (and illegal), but that's like ripping off a famous poem, switching a few words around, and reciting it for your cousin's wedding as your own. Ironically enough, there's a photographer I've been following who wrote a really similar article within days of me posting mine, but her's goes as far as people trying to take pics using her ideas WHILE she's photographing! For anyone going to a wedding or big event in the near future, I highly recommend taking a moment to read it as well as the comments....
When in doubt, just ask. From the pros with the serious equipment to the pals with the point-and-shoots, taking a moment to double-check it's okay before you pass on to friends and family or use as FB profile picture goes a LONG way. Not only is it flattering to the person who caught the picture, whether you paid for the session or it's from a random backyard BBQ, but it's also the courteous thing to do. For me personally, if it's just a random shot I caught in passing, I'm not as worried - but if I'm there specifically to capture a moment/event or took the time to give the photos some serious love (again, paid or not), that's when I get a little peeved if it's shared or 'stolen' without permission or credit. And if you plan to use the images for something beyond general sharing - blogs, websites, FB pages, etc - then you REALLY better ask permission and be prepared to agree to the creator's terms. The whole "better to ask forgiveness than permission" in this situation doesn't apply.
Remember Aesop? Gratitude goes a long way - not just with photos, but everything that someone takes the time to create or produce: jewelry, fancy cakes, photos, stationary, articles, design work, even blog templates and class outlines and notes. Even if it's one's "job" to do these things and you paid for it, they're still making the world a better place by inspiring the world with their work. And just because they figured out a way to make a living at doing something they love and are good at, we shouldn't penalize them for being talented and sharing their gift with the world by not acknowledging them. And if this talented person just so happens to be a close friend or family member, never expect them to do things for free just because...

In the end, I realized one of the biggest faults was my own. As I operate on a free-lance basis and am more of as an enthusiast than a pro, I never really enforced my wishes or felt that I had the right or authority to do so. After lots of research, turns out that I do. Since then I've been more careful and direct in my session contracts and sharing terms. It's hard to get upset at someone when I haven't fully communicated my terms; and despite being seemingly functioning people, some folks just don't understand the legal and social repercussions of copyright. Likewise, if I'm not upfront and let people take advantage from the beginning, any hopes at doing this professionally are DOOMED.

Listen y'all, I love love LOVE taking/editing/sharing photos. I love seeing people get just as, if not more, excited when images turn out. I love getting feedback and being approached about doing sessions and collaborating on fun opportunities. I love reading about how to get better and pouring over other talented photographers work and wondering what they felt as they did their shoots. I love how I'm in total control behind the camera while also leaving my creative side completely open to the moment when that awesome PANG! of inspiration hits. And often it is flattering to be the go-to gal when pictures are needed, even for simple things, when the intentions and gratitude are fully present.

To conclude, I want to take a moment to show MY gratitude for those who took the time to send their thoughts, who have always been there, and who have always been the kind of people to share their insightful perspectives. It's those of you who remain my constant source of inspiration and motivation.

There. I'M DONE.

Life is moving on and I'll now continue with regularly scheduled blogging.

PS. Did you know as Aesop was a fable writer, the appropriate term is a "fabulist"? HA!

Workin' On My Cred. Get the Picture?

2011-05-22T17:27:00.013-04:00

I was hoping the Rapture would kick in so I didn't actually have to write this post. Alas, the only hellfire and damnation I experienced this past weekend was in my gut, thanks to not-so-mild red curry (but Thai, you're ALWAYS worth it). However, due to some pent-up frustrations and reading one-too-many "girl power" articles in crappy magazines (Glamour, you're always worth it, too), I feel compelled to pass my own hour of judgement on some recent not-so-cool behavior.

--------

So, I'm not a "photographer," per se. I don't take pictures for a living, I don't have an art school degree, and I don't consider myself a full-fledged member of the photography community.

But you know what?

I do believe in photography as an art, I have invested countless hours and money into my enthusiasm and appreciation into my developing work (pun? yes!), and I hold the knowledge and passion that has been shared to me by a few true professionals very dearly in the depths of inner creative being.

In other words?

I'm not "there" yet, but I'm trying to figure out what it takes. The journey has been bumpy and confusing and overwhelming and brilliantly fulfilling. If anything, photography and pursuit of creating interesting images has provided a very much needed outlet and has allowed me to be focused while still being entirely open and in the moment. For a complicated gal such as myself, it's a WIN. And honestly, even if I never even get "there" - by my standards or anyone else's - there's not a single doubt in my weird little head that my glorified hobby has made me a better person.

Can you guess where I'm going?

All flowery sentiment aside (but I do mean every word of the above), it's come to my attention on several occasions that there are others who unfortunately don't share in my regards; and more upsettingly, have taken advantage of my time and dedication for their own personal gain. Since I've started heavily investing myself into photo production, I've time and time again seen people use/reproduce/share/"re-edit" or vagrantly defile my work without permission. Without credit. Without feedback or recognition. Without so much as a THANK YOU. And especially when I do so because I wanted to help capture something special and ask of nothing in return, it breaks my heart to find that instead of gratitude, there is only entitlement.

Am I making sense?

Y'all. It stinks.

It stinks to:

Have people assume that because I saved my own hard earned money for semi-advanced photography equipment, editing software, and even a new computer to handle the processing and archiving, that I'll automatically be your complimentary photographer. Honestly, I feel like I get invited to things because folks assume I'll show up with my camera and I'm just DYING to capture every gee-flippin' moment. It's like that friend who finally invests in his dream truck, and suddenly he's the go-to guy when you move into a new apartment or buy a new (ugly) couch - why pay for delivery when your friend will do it for free, DUHHH? If you want me to stay behind the camera the whole time for your occasion, at least offer me free booze or a foot rub or to wash my car. It's like assuming your cousin who's a vocal performance major is going to come and sing jazzy ballads as free entertainment. It's embarrassing. And belittling.
Ask me to basically give a 30min run-down of everything photography related so that you can, like, take totally awesome pics. No no, it's cool - I would LOVE to wrap up all my late nights reading articles, the afternoons alone practicing, the challenges I've encountered, the reviews I've obsessed over, the embarrassing questions I've had to ask, the locations I've foraged, etc etc etc, into a tidy little one-page 'cheat sheet' for you. What, you want that for free? SURE! It's not like I'm living in a basement and eating Ritz crackers and my hair to stay alive.... PEOPLE. Okay. So, remember that slovenly kid you've seen in class maaaybe twice who comes up to you at the end of the semester and gives some lame excuse as to why he needs all of your notes and handouts and a basic rundown of the last four months so he can pass the class? DON'T BE THAT KID. That's how it feels on my end. Not great.
See people using photos I took and carefully edited for their OWN promotions without even the slightest acknowledgement, mention, or even taking two seconds to ask for permission (or offering to buy the rights to the photo like any smart professional would do). When this happens, not only is rude (and illegal), but that's a missed opportunity for me to add to the portfolio and possibly snag another client. It's plagiarizing - it's not your idea, it's not your work, and it's cheating. Just because it's on Facebook or sent in an email or published in an online photo album doesn't make it less mine and more yours. Sharing is one thing. Stealing is another.
Have people DEMAND the photos I snapped at an event or outing. Without any compensation. Excuse me? OF COURSE. I would love to stop what I'm doing for you, archive and compile the photos into an easily accesible place or media source for you, and watch you post the photos EVERYWHERE while your willy nilly pals comment on your fabulousness. Is my name anywhere? Nope. Nevermind you didn't even say "thank you," but then you crop my watermark out and PUT STUPID PICNIK "FLAIR" ON THERE?! It's times like that I wish I had an army of flying monkeys to screech and wail until my prop-a-tee is rightfully avenged.
Hear people comment, "Your camera takes great pictures!" Yes, the quality is great, and thanks for noticing; but do you really think the camera adjusted it's own settings, composition, timing, and subject? Do you suppose the camera did it's own post-captured cropping, enhancement, and editing? Listen, I hate cliches, but it's true it's the person behind the camera makes or breaks the photograph in the end; just because you buy a race-car doesn't make you a race-car driver, now does it?
Ask me to do a full-on photo session for you/your family out of the goodness of my heart. Heart? What am I, the Tin Man? Ladies and gentlemen, it takes time to plan a shoot, do the shoot, then edit the shoot. (Err, the photos from the shoot.) And then tell ME: "Well, this will be a good chance for you to practice." Shoot shoot SHOOT, y'all! Not cool! Do you call up your friend who's in culinary school and say, "Yo, I'ma need about 50 cuh-cakes for my birthday party next week"? I SHOULD HOPE NOT! Let me just say, if you expect me to do a freebie photo sesh, you'll get what you pay for...

[www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com]

Do you... get the picture?

Listen, I'm trying to avoid going all photog'-Nazi and watermark and copyright every single image. I'm not saying you need to fork up cash or bow down to me when you want to use my photos (but will that get you even cooler photos? you bet your fanny!). I never want to stop taking pictures. I never want to stop growing and learning and being excited for when "the shot" comes out leaps and bounds better than I imagined. I do want to share what I've learned and get people engaged in a thoughtful process. I just want to know my time and effort is appreciated. I want to know it's worth continuing.

In other words, I'm trying to make things happen and I can't do that without at least a little respect for my attempts at becoming a professional. In the coming weeks, you'll hopefully see those attempts along with me - hold on to your unda'pants. I promise to always be reliable, affordable, and make sure you walk away feeling like a super-star. I know how it feels to get an image back from a photographer and think WOWZA! For the photos I take along the way, obviously my fly-by snapshots aren't as big of deal; but if I find a gem or two among the albums and take the time to bring attention to it, a hug or a high-five in return is great (and bottles of Nior if you're not the touchy-feely type.)

To those of you who have shared your thoughts, lent me amazing support, given me overwhelming recognition, prayed for successes and laughed over the failures, sung my praises, ensured appropriate credit, fought for my right to be treated as a big kid, and simply appreciated the outcomes... it's my turn to say thank YOU. It's those moments that overshadow the negative ones, and it's those moments that make the journey absolutely wonderful. I know I've got a long way to go... but that's the exciting part.

Do I feel better now?

Yes. Yes, I think I do.

(PS. Special shout out to THE most amazing dude in the world, John C., for being the biggest supporter of them all. I couldn't have done it without his help and expertise in the world of gadgetry and techy-techness. I couldn't have done it without his constant reassurance and thoughtful feedback. I couldn't have done it without those pizza nights where I blabbed his ear off with all my chaotic thoughts and ambitions. I couldn't have done it without him pushing me and inspiring me to realize how much I can do if I prove how badly I want it. I'm a darn lucky lady.)

Read Part II on this post - click here....

Summer Has Its Etiquette

2011-05-16T09:02:00.009-04:00

Sweet Lincoln's mullet, Readers!

The summer's already 'heating' up (pun intended...duhhh); and after sitting down to do my daily/weekly/monthly agenda and list of summer To Do's, I realized it's going to barrel down to Funky Town faster than couponing moms to the super sale at Sams. My summer ambitions, family plans, school responsibilities, fitness classes, and general need for a chance to BREATHE and catch up on four months of sleep have considerably added up, and I hope I'm as effective as I intend to be... while yes, still being able to get in much desired time with friends I've so horribly neglected and a certain handsome young man of my mine who now bears the additional letters "J" & "D" at the end of his name. (I'm dating a lawyer now, y'all!)

Also? I've returned to Facebook. After ten weeks away and lots of inner debates on whether it was worth signing back in or not, I took the plunge. Despite there being little positive change in the usual FB craziness after 2.5 months, I was happy to see updates and photos of friends I haven't been able to keep up with much through my difficult semester (and of course, Scrabble is now back in full force). But as my cyber networking anxiety kicks in again with the onslaught of frou-frou summer status/photo/link sharing implosions, I have to wonder if I'll find myself regretting my reattachment to the land of Facey. To help you or fellow 'Friends' maintain a festive though unpretentious summer existence in the land of Facebook, here are some tips to keep you on track.

.:: C's "SHORE" WAY NOT TO BE A SUMMER FACEBOOK TOOL ::.

(mtv.com)

1. Uploaded phone pics: One is cute. Two is okay. Two-hundred is not.

The grainy, blurry photo of you "in the moment," real time on the beach with a bevvy in hand can be fun. It gives us a chance to see that 1) you've arrived safely to your destination, and 2) okay, you get a chance to relax and enjoy yourself. But after that, you should take to putting your phone in your beach bag and picking up a good read. Or even a bad one, at that. Either way, after about two photos, the rest of us wasting away at our desks or in the library take it as a kick in the gut. Jealous? We're past that. We start to resent you and your cheap booze (that you're not even supposed to bring on the beach anyways), and we hope you get eaten by a shark. Or you at least get stung by a jelly fish.

2. Speaking of phone pics: "Sexy" myspace-esque pictures of you in your 'new' bikini...

... are lame. Nothing chaps my bottoms more than 1) sunburns and 2) girls desperate for attention. It's not cute, it's not endearing, and Lord knows most of the people posting these kinds of photos should do about a trillion jumping jacks before even considering putting on anything that draws attention. For the fellas, this is just as bad when you're posing in your tie-dye hibiscus 'board shorts' and putting on your tough guy face. UMNOTHANKYOU.

3. Daily status countdowns until your "totes awes' vacay" aren't necessary.

We can't wait until you leave either. STOP IT.

4. The return-from-vacation statuses... yes, it's over. Move on.

"Siiigh, most amazing time in the _magical location_ with the best _family/boy friend/husband/wife/dog_ ever! Back to the real world..."

Yes, being a responsible, functioning adult is less than ideal. Yes, it would be more ideal to frolic through the sand and wake up late and only drink from glasses with little umbrellas and fruit stabbed with tiny, plastic swords. But guess what. For those people making your daiquiris and punching your tickets at tourist attractions and fluffing your hotel pillows and dancing like a lunatic in a humiliating costume in a lame themed restaurant, it IS the ever lovin' "real world." Having worked retail in a busy tourist area, I saw how people assume you'll bend over backwards to make their time "special"... or maybe they thought they could be a complete a**hole because they'd most likely never see you again. I was lucky I managed to wriggle out alive and run for the boring hills of academia. But I worked alongside people who's everyday survival depended on catering to entitled vacationers, and it's a kind of patience I'll never have. So be thankful for the time you had. Be grateful to be able to go on vacation in the first place. Yes, you earned it. But you didn't earn the right to be a tacky tourist jerk.

5. Does your photo album REALLY need to be 438 pictures long?

(You were only there three days.)

Before I even heavily got into photography, I was always annoyed when flipping through 'Friends' albums and noticing most pictures were haphazardly taken and often times it was the SAME photo, just the shooter turned 30 degrees and snapped, turned another 30 degrees and snapped... and then I almost snapped. That, or it looks like they didn't even go through their camera photos at all and uploaded EVERY single picture: the good, the bad, AND the ugly. What really gets me cranked? "Jumping photos" that took you 897 tries and you insist on putting up every. single. one. BOR-ING.

Even when I spent a freakin' magical summer studying in Greece in undergrad (you can read that blog by clicking the link in my reading list), there were times I had to put down the camera. It's easy to get caught up and not want to miss what could be a great shot, but then you end up missing the actual life happening around you. And even when I was face-to-face with monuments and old temples and magnificent sites, I often ended up buying the $0.50 post cards because 1) the photo quality is always better, 2) it helped keep track of places I visited, and 3) I could use the back to write down quotes from the day or other random tidbits.

Fodor's has an excellent article on vacation photography you should check out.

------------------

The bottom line? Sharing is caring, but not when you're using your la-la land vacation brain as an excuse to rub in how totally rad your life away from the monotony is. We want to be excited for you and we want you to enjoy yourself so you can finally come back rested up (and finally quit being such an uptight, stressed-out super beast). We want to know about your fun times. We want to see them in a festive posted album. But what we don't want is a detail by detail account, spoken or visual. Keep some memories for yourself and the people you shared it with.

And with that, I've now got to go pack for a mini-retreat down the coast to see my fam' and send my sister off to her study abroad trip. I sure hope she's reading.

Fare thee well!

-C

Outta the Woods & Into the Hazy Unknown...

2011-05-11T20:43:00.002-04:00

... so somebody fix me summin' strong!

(**Update: So blogger apparently had a little hiccup that turned into a 24 disaster, and lots of people's blogs were screwed around with... I was one of them and it ruined several updates and posts I worked so very hard on. It also deleted all the comments from this post right before I got a chance to read them, as well as any comments I left on fellow blogger's posts... UGH! But life carries on and I'm sorry for the inconvenience!)

.::SUMMER!::.

It's like, one of my all-time favorite things. Like, IN THE WORLD.

I am by all accounts a warm-weather gal, and I would much rather sweat* than shiver any day.

(*Ahem! Excuse me: Glisten.)

So I survived my long and overly dramatic festival of academic doom, John's law school graduation (upcoming post on that later), and slow re-entry back into the land of the living. I've spent the last three days reorganizing my big kid duties and cleaning up the explosion of stupid that happened throughout my apartment... aka, doing (not kidding) over 2 months of laundry (holy monkey junk, how many clothes DO I have?!... or how many times did I re-wear that bra, exactly?), grocery shopping (no more pickles & hummus dinners for me!), and - get this - even defrosting and cleaning out my refrigerator (and I thought exams were rough). I'm embarrassed to say I'm not actually even done with school 100% = still finishing up my internship research paper, which I promised would be in tomorrow; and then I get approximately 72hrs of non-academic bliss before my summer class begins on Monday. Oh joy.

But never-mind, that!

Summer class is but a pithy detail.

So what are some things about summer I really love?

SO GLAD YOU ASKED!

A sassy bathing suit.

Do I really need another one? Probably not. But I've been thinking about investing in a one piece lately; not sure why, but there's something about a solid & structured one-piece that screams sophistication (something I desperately need). Check out this one I've been obsessing over from White House Black Market.

How stinkin' cute is THIS?! A cute ruffly plunging neckline with an unsuspecting low-cut back... yes please! Shoot, y'all. If Kate can bring back sleeves, I can bring back the one-piece. Let me at it!

A riveting read.

It's amazing how I've spent the last nine months drowning in reading assignments and yet all-I-wanna-do is find a blistering hot place in the sun and throw down a fabulous piece of literature. You know what, it doesn't have to be fabulous = it just has to be good. Enjoyable. NON-ACADEMIC. The sad part is I'm woefully behind on my reading list that I gave up and now I don't know where to start. I'm turning to you, faithful readers, to share your suggestions (books to avoid are just as helpful).

A jazzy playlist.

Y'all, I created a "Billie Holiday" station on my Pandora and it's UHH-mazing. Dean Martin, Louis Armstrong, and yes, even Old Blue Eyes shows up a lot as well. Really, I can't get enough.

A smokin' backyard BBQ.

(from Mad Men, image found on crushable.com)

I really am a sucker for backyard parties with char-grilled goodies, cold bevvies, and inappropriate adult conversations while kids blast each other with super soakers. There better be plenty this summer. HECK, I might be the Backyard BBQ Crasher amongst the uppity neighborhoods close by. There's little I won't do to get a plate of smoked ribs and potato salad.

A sunny sundress.

(with Minh - center, and Anne - right, after our BBQ & Blues Cruise, summer 2010)

I have about 86 of them. They're THE perfect summer outfit: throw it on and GO. No pants, no complicated hipster layering nonsense, and no stopping what accessories you can use to glam it up or tone it down. YEAH-YUH.

--------------

I really, really am hoping this summer I can get myself together and start making the changes and taking the challenges I know I'm capable of. Despite the lazy, hazy days of the genteel South'un summa' months, I'm desperately seeking a little invigoration and soul searching so I can quit being a slave to my doubts, insecurities, and barriers I create for myself.

And if that invigoration requires vodka and time spent poolside, so be it.

And if you want to join, I am taking applications for summer adventurers.

Stay tuned!

-C

Is That Any Way to Behave? (No Really, I Don't Know.)

2011-05-03T12:16:00.004-04:00

In a quick lunch break from studying today (last exam commences tonight... BOOYAH), I took to reading up on the latest news... and what a bizarre few days of media-worthy craziness it has been. As I'm sure most of you woke up Monday morning to find the news of Osama Bin Laden, if you weren't already in the know when it happened Sunday night, my initial reaction was anything but positive. It gave me a nauseating feeling, brought on by that weird sort of head-spinning confusion that comes with not really knowing what emotion or opinion is appropriate or even applicable... I was stunned, if anything.

I remember exactly where I was on September 11th: 10th grade math class at my rinky-dink little school in the middle of Nowhere, South Carolina... after the 2nd tower went down, the whole school entirely stopped its work for the day. For the students who weren't frantically picked up by their parents, we sat there and watched. All day.

I didn't know anyone personally who was involved, but it's still one of those things that leaves you feeling completely different. I'll never be able to comprehend the magnitude and horribleness of that day. But I do know it took a long time for many to find hope.

While a perfect excuse to climb on to my very well-worn soapbox, my feelings on the current situation are muddled. I haven't had a single good feeling about it over the last 24 hours, and it seems to get more confusing and flat out ridiculous as more unfolds (not to mention nothing really seems to add up). The news I read this afternoon also seemed multi-opinionated, and there are far better writers than myself who did use the opportunity for soapbox issues. One I read that struck the biggest chord is by Pamela Gerloff of the Huffington Post:

"The death of Osama bin Laden gives us an opportunity to ask ourselves: What kind of nation and what kind of species do we want to be? Do we want to become a species that honors life? Do we want to become a species that embodies peace? If that is what we want, then we need to start now to examine our own hearts and actions, and begin to consciously evolve in that direction. We could start by not celebrating the killing of another."

Read the rest of the article here.

Overall, at the heart of the issue, this was the big take-away for me.

And I'll leave it at that.

Any reactions you saw or heard that made you cringe?

Or, maybe, that gave you hope humanity isn't all lost?

A Royal Distraction

2011-04-29T20:56:00.006-04:00

Okay, OKAY.

I really need to be studying for my last two finals. I know I said I was hiding out. But chy'all.... I'm beat.

The last several days have been a non-stop go-go-go! now-now-now!, and... I hit a wall.

Point blank.

The rest of my weekend is full of nothing but coffee drinking, chapter rereading, note highlighting, paper organizing, and final stu.dy.ing. My blessed summer liberation comes Tuesday evening, and I just need something - anything - to find that last little push.

I'm so close.

--------------------------------

There are only two weddings I've ever been full. out. excited for:

1) The Office wedding (<-- I dare you not to cry.)

2) The Royal Wedding

[*Disclaimer: That's not to say I wasn't ridiculously excited and happy for my now married friends' weddings or upcoming nuptials... but c'mon, a wedding I can gawk at shamelessly in my PJs while disgustingly gorging myself on junk food and cabernet... I DO!]

As John likes to remind me that Jim and Pam aren't real (OH YES THEY ARE, CHUMP), I found myself getting eager to watch the new "It" Brits walk down the aisle. I really can't explain it: the history-in-the-making, the fashion, the tradition, the chance to see it all as it happened. Yup, I was one of the wide-eyed suckers up at the crack o' dawn (4:30am) to watch the magic unfold. With a mimosa in hand, courtesy of Becky, fellow MPA crony with a passion for all things fabulous (she took the day off work for the event and wore her tiara proudly all morning), we critiqued every outfit and reveled in the splendor of the royals. I'm not sure if it was the early morning delirium or the mental exhaustion from the last several days, but I was hooked. Kate looked stinkin' gorgeous. William looked hungover, but I expected no less... with a little bro like Prince Harry, I bet the bachelor party was caaaaa-razy.

In other event that boasted big hats and tradition, I spent Easter Sunday with John and his family. It was a beautiful day, and as anticipated, I was sick off all the chocolate for at least two days (soooo worth it). Rather than give you a rambling soliloquy of my Easterness, enjoy the following visuals:

*Due to something freak during the export process and Blogger not wanting to cooperate, unfortunately some of the images below are obnoxiously distorted and not their original, pretty quality. :( But the sentiment hopefully speaks for itself.

John's folks. Ahhh-stinkin'-dorable.

Hats!

Glad we got a shot together BEFORE the chocolate happened.

So many Easter goodies.

Such as...

Cuppy cakes? YES PLEASE!

Easter without colorful confections is like Cinco de Mayo without tequila.

It's just not authentic.

Nor is it without the tye-dyed Easter eggs (oh yes, we did).

Easter is groovy, baby!

And as Miss Cadey, John's not-so-little-anymore sis was all glam'ed up (and I was looking for an excuse to put a new lens and editing tricks to to work), I made her work it.

That's all I have to share for now. And as the early morning of studying beckons... I'll leave y'all with that.

Maybe I need a mimosa and tiara to get me through the studies?

Pip-pip-CHEERIO!

The Seven Deadly Days

2011-04-26T22:43:00.003-04:00

In exactly one week, I'll have (almost completely) completed my second semester of grad school. And for the 48 hours following my final exam, I claim no responsibility for my actions.

It's gon' get CRAZY, y'all.

Suffice it to say I'm in full on panic mode, and it's not helping that completing my exams is only the beginning of the end-of-the-year madness. I'll still have heavy wrap-up for my grad assistantship, including a big paper to submit on my experiences and also final development of a binder with 'Standard Operating Procedures' and other core pieces of my position; I'll be one of the executive members conducting the hooding ceremony for the current graduates of my program; and of course, John's graduation. The rest of my to-do list between now and then only seems to get longer, and suddenly time is speeding up.

WATSON. My gin, please!

(I wish.)

I've been unnecessarily discombobulated as of late, and it's only exacerbated by the fact that I can't sleep when I'm supposed to and I'm exhausted when I really need to get things done. I'm snappy and disoriented and generally feel like "one more thing" and I'm legit going to snap. I'm perpetually terrified the papers I've turned in are going to be better suited for wiping my professor's a-- and the presentations I conducted were 15min of painfully articulated thought processes. My food suddenly all tastes weird and bland and even my mounds of Easter chocolate to little to inspire my taste buds. I'm wearing my hair color all too well lately (blonde moments TO THE MAX), and I can offer nothing but apologies in return. All in all, after all these years of schooling, I'm still a loser in the game of self-care; I can't ever seem to manage my anxiety or stress no matter what I do.

I'm FREAKED out, man.

So, what does this mean for you, you humble and patient readers?

a. Posting will most definitely be limited until I come out on the other side of the craziness.

b. Unfortunately, my Facebook hiatus is still in full effect as I can't afford to deal with any extra distractions.

c. Take this is as a golden opportunity to really think long and hard about your own whims of returning to grad school... might I suggest taking yourself to a bar, buying yourself a drink, and asking yourself if giving up your social life, your bank account, and your hopes and dreams of becoming a mature, sane person to an institution of higher learning is really worth the piece of paper... I still have another year to find out.

Your positive vibes are much appreciated.

And next week, your glasses of bourbon will be, too.

Dear Lord, please give me the strength to deal with what's about to happen.

And forgive me for the obscene amount of profanity that's about to happen.

ONWARD!

I'm Not White, I'm Green! (Happy Earth Day!)

2011-04-22T08:44:00.004-04:00

Friends, Romans, and Tree-Huggers...

Get off your rears!

It's Earth Day.

If you look around, "green" is the new "leggings as pants." Businesses are trying to market themselves as "sustainable," "all-natural," "eco-friendly," and other catchy words that make us think we're saving the world by buying more of their goods and services that they deem "green." The problem is, there's really no set standard of what any of those terms really mean, and the hype usually outweighs the actual good they're suggesting they do. Take for instance this commercial...

"All natural..." "Comes straight from the earth and nowhere else...."

WHAT? I happen to like my tortilla chips grown in petrie dishes!

Sigh...

On one hand, I'm glad at least corporations are trying to encourage the idea of less processing and even taking measures to reduce their impact. On the other, we as consumers speak with our buying power, and it's up to us to hold them accountable for their feel-good claims.

The funny thing is, when I speak with people about the new winds of change to a more sustainable lifestyle, there's this sense that you have do more and buy more to be "green." People think its expensive and immediately assume change isn't possible because we Americans like things cheap, fast, and easy. I argue the opposite; I take more of a conservationist approach when it comes to the big green picture, and I find I'm saving money in my little tweaks:

Ohhhh, yeah. I'd tap that. (Water, that is.)

Get rid of the plastic bottled water. THEY'RE A RIP OFF. And for crying out loud, water is FREE. We're pretty damn lucky we can drink our water straight out of the tap and at any gosh-darned time we please. Not to mention, plastic takes a stupid amount of time to break down (like, NEVER) and upwards of 60% of the plastic bottles don't get recycled. You can find durable, well designed reusable water bottles just about anywhere; just make sure they're BPA free because your body isn't exactly made to handle toxic chemicals, 'kay?

BE the bag lady!

I carry my reusable canvas bags on every shopping trip: grocery store, shoe shopping, bookstore, liquor store, whatever. I hate dealing with those flimsy plastic bags anyways, and again, they don't break down in landfills (where a freakish amount ends up). Plus, you can stack and fit your goods in those bags way more efficiently, which is great if you're like me and have a long, awkward walk from car to apartment/house. Most grocery stores sell them for less than $2, and I find they're also super handy when you need something last minute to carry stuff to work, parties, etc. Have an old tshirt collection you don't know what to do with? Check out this craft and make your own bags!

She has a thrifty eye...

I love thrifting. My sister and I can spend an entire afternoon at the Goodwill or 2nd-hand shop finding all kinds of treasures (and often hilarious finds... purple velour track pants, you bet). It's amazing what people will just give away, sometimes never used... I found a Lucky Brand cashmere-blend cardigan with the TAGS still on it, valuing the sweater at $85... I paid $8. Likewise, I found this vintage American Traveler train case, perfectly intact and in great condition... Ebay has it $25; I paid (seriously) $2. TWO DOLLARS, Y'ALL. (PSST! That's what a bottle of water will cost you at the gas station.) I use this awesome train case to house all my camera gear; it's pretty rad. While I do love the feeling of buying a new pair of shoes or something that makes me feel right purdy, I love the thrill of finding a piece that's got some life to it.. and is CHEAP.

Exercise your own portion control.

I used to be a sucker for those little individual calorie pack thingies. Thank you, snack company, for counting out 17 cardboard tasting cookies for me and putting it in a shiny bag so I can feel light and healthy! Y'all, it's stupid. Once I realized how much money and packaging I was wasting on a generally unsatisfying snack, I immediately took to buying in bulk and packing my own snacks in a (cute!) reusable tupperware (bonus: no squished or smushed snacks that usually happen in a plastic bag). Not only does it give me the chance to buy actually decent tasting snacks, but I can always sneak in a leeeeeedle bit more if I so choose.

Other easy-peasy ways to show the Earth you give a hoot:

- Turn off lights and other electronics when not in use (and UNPLUG them, too!). - Buy local. - RECYCLE!!! - Make your own coffee. - Use gift bags instead of wrapping paper (or these other cool ideas!). - Instead of a crappy, unthoughtful gift basket from a bath/body shop, give a gift certificate to a trendy restaurant or a cool thing to do in town (cosmic bowling? YES PLEASE). - If your destination is in a reasonable distance, WALK. - Find some cheap, funky plates and serving things from the thrift store for parties you can throw in the dishwasher (the only post-party trash should be you and your best friend after too many bottles of noir). - If you do end up buying throw-away goods, get paper instead of plastic... and remember STYROFOAM IS THE DEBIL. - Stop and ask yourself... do I REALLY need that?

---------------

Overall, my quest became more so to rid myself of the clutter, the overspending, and general excessiveness I realized I had in my life. Maybe it was watching one too many episodes of Hoarders, but let's face it: our society encourages us to spend and buy and collect and have newer, better, cooler versions than everybody else.

Listen, I'm no green queen. I still love my mid-sized SUV and the occasional long, scorching hot shower. Every now and then I find myself REALLY needing a Diet Coke (but I always recycle the bottle!). It's all about making smart choices and off-setting your carbon footprint... and, if above anything, appreciating the simpleness, the inherent value of things in our lives. So make Earth Day 2011 a good opportunity to hug a tree and high-five a friend.

So, I'm going to start it off with not bothering to take a shower this morning.

HAILS YEAH, Motha' (Earth) lovaaahs.

I Like to Keep It Au Natural.

2011-04-18T17:03:00.006-04:00

Today's foodie post involves a soap box and a healthy appetite. (And photos!)

---------------------------

Food. I love it. Consequently enough, many other people do, too (imaaagine, that!).

In most of the literature I've read concerning about how to get your community to become more sustainable, food seems to be the number one place to start... and it's hard to argue that fact when it's something you can taste, touch, and smell.

And what wonderful sensations to behold!

Pictured above is the delicious loot I scored at the farmer's market we host on campus once a week. Sadly, tomorrow is the last day to snag my favorite goodies on Greene St. for a while as exams and end-of-the-year madness begin next week... Happily, my favorite vendors will be present at the community farmer's market available on Saturday mornings.

For a medium sized bag of strawberries, 2 lbs of summer squash, 2 cukes, and 4 monstrously sized apples, I paid $9. NINE DOLLA BILLZ, Y'ALL. You can't get a decent lunch or a quarter-tank of gas or get hammered for $9. It's been almost a week and I still have half of it left (and trying a new recipe soon enough with the squash).

The best part? The fuji apples. They're incredibly sweet and crunchy.

And they're HUGE. Like as big as my dogs.

SERIOUSLY.

In fact, I still had a few apples from the grocery store, and they simply can't compete:

SERIOUSLY.

So support your local farmer's market and sustainable agriculture. Incorporate a few organic products in your basket if you can. Sometimes, we speak more mightily with our actions and our wallets; might as well invest a little more time and moolah into something that not only makes us happy and healthy, but our communities as well.

SPEAKING OF WHICH. For those of you looking to help your communities get involved (and you 'local' B@T readers: I'm lookin' at you), check out Edy's Fruit Tree Planting Foundation and vote for your favorite nonprofit hoping to establish a fruit orchard for the local residents! Just find your city/state and VOTE once a day through May 31st. It's that simple. And dangit, y'all know I like my freebies.

Are there ways YOU are trying to live more sustainably?

Do share!

Breakfast (at Target) Cookies

2011-04-08T17:34:00.014-04:00

In my Lenten absence from chocolate and my general efforts to be more conscious of what I consume (unless it's free, mind you; my efforts to live cheap take precedent), I've started milling around for other recipes to satisfy my overactive sweet tooth with, at least, less junk. As timing and opportunity would have it, I was tasked with taking several students (18, to be exact) up into the wilderness on a retreat last weekend. Knowing I'd be mopey because my s'mores would be nothing more than gooey graham crackers (eating s'mores without the chocolate is like eating a BLT without the bacon... LAME), I decided to make a batch of something that I could nosh on and still get my sucrose fix.

To further expand my baking endeavor, I decided to find a recipe that was vegan. Veganism is something I've been investigating for a while, and one of the fellow GA's, Meggie, who accompanied me on the trip went vegan a while back. She's a whiz in the kitchen and is always bringing in goodies, so I wanted a chance to not only say "Thanks," but also make sure she could partake. (But for the record, I have my personal beef - pun intended? - with some parts of veganism as a whole, so I'm still testing the waters.)

My first step was finding a recipe. A recipe I could handle. I Googled "easy vegan recipes" - and lo and behold - a plethora of recipes were at my disposal. After searching a bit, I decided to try these guys and go from there. Per usual, I only sort of followed the directions entirely...

------------------------------

.::Breakfast (at Target) Cookies::.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The ingredients were fairly simple, and I was excited to discover I already had most of them on hand: oats, (whole wheat) flower, cinnamon, (light) brown sugar, margarine, cranberries, raisins... Several of my ingredients were also organic, which made me feel down-right food-snobbish. Pip pip, cheerio, chappies!

(**Note: The bananas are also Meggie's secret ingredient to a thick, chewy cookie without using eggs. WAY healthier and adds an unexpected sweetness.)

Another reason Meggie served as my inspiration in this recipe is because of this miracle of all things scrumptious. On a trip back home to Ohio (which several of you know is where my crazy mother's side of the family is from), Meggie made a side-trip to one of her favorite tourist stops called Grandpa's Cheese Barn. Knowing my bizarre obsession with sweet potato infused, well, anything, she picked up a jar of sweet potato butter for lil ol' me (note: it's doesn't contain real 'butter, m'kay?). And lemme-tell-y'all, it's UH-freakin'-mazing. Knowing it had a sweet, spiced, smooth taste, I used half the called measurement of margarine and substituted the other half for this stuff. Aaand, well, maybe a little more... DEE-lish.

While I already had a stash of brown sugar for my morning oatmeal, I completely forgot to get good old fashioned sugar-sugar. Thinking adding more brown sugar would overwhelm the recipe, I used about a 1/4 cup of syrup I had on hand. It actually ended up helping the recipe bind together a little better and added a nice maple hint.

So, I whipped up the softened margarine, sweet potato butter, syrup, cinnamon, ginger, brown sugar, mashed bananas, and soy milk. It already began to smell yummers.

Add your 3 cups of rolled oats. Packed with fiber and cholesterol fighting goodness. YUSSS.

Add the flour. I used a whole-wheat kind and it added a rich, hearty texture and color.

I'm crazy for Craisins! Seriously, they're dangerously addicting and I always have them handy.

For an added surprise and extra nutritional value, I added some raisins.

Now, I'm usually pretty weary about using my oven intended for a family of muppets. It's barely big enough to hold my sweaters, so I figured I'd actually try to use it for baking. Nice thing about it being so small is that it heats up super quickly (perfect for the spazzy chef that I am who always forgets to preheat the oven).

This is going to be interesting.

I load up a mid-sized batch, ungreased, and waited for the oven to get hot. Already pretty in color and strong in it's spiced scent, I hoped my oven doesn't ruin them.

Approximately 10-13 min later, my apartment is doused in heavy spiced aromas and not engulfing flames I feared would happen.

Rustic in color and glorious in it's smells, I knew they couldn't taste that bad.

I hadn't had my 2nd cup of coffee yet, so I decided to sneak a sample cookie along with it.
They were simply marvelous.
----------------------------

They weren't as sweet as I thought they might be, but overall I was happy they were subtle yet flavorful. The cranberries added a tinge of tang, and the brown sugary-cinnamon combo is always a win. They were dense, hearty, and relatively low in calories & fat; also loaded with fiber because of the oats and whole-wheat flour, and the added fruit gave it a vitamin kick. The batter was deceptive; it looked like it wouldn't make that many cookies, but I had a huge tupperware full and plenty to share with my campers.

Meggie gave it the seal of approval; and while we ate several that night around the campfire, we decided they tasted way better in the morning for breakfast - as did several of the students. Of course, the ingredients lent well to them being the perfect breakfast cookies... and really, I don't know what's better than that.

So breakfast, dessert, or any time, these were quick, inexpensive, tasty, easy to make and relatively healthy. Maybe I do have a domestic gene after all!

.... given the appropriate measures of confidence, of course.

I Pity the April Fool!

2011-04-03T12:08:00.004-04:00

ONE.

One month, to the day...

... and I'll be able to sleep, eat, & breath without having to first check my calendar to see if I have the luxury of doing so.

I'm not sure whether to be elated or terrified, but one thing's for sure:

I AIN'T GOT NO TIME FOR THE JIBBA-JABBA.

*What stands between me and summer:*

- Debate presentation

- Final (20 pg) papers & accompanying presentations for each of my classes

- Final exams (cumulative, mind you)

- Internship research/observation paper

- Creating a binder of "Standard Operating Procedures" (including any and all details coordinating efforts and event projects I've done) for my grad assistant (GA) position

- Presentation on work projects at a university event

- Surviving a few more GA-related projects

- Taking over as the newly appointed El Presidente of my graduate program association and helping to conduct hooding ceremonies

- Finding what the devil to do with myself for the summer....

*What will keep me going:*

- Lining up a few photo shoots for friends who are graduating

- Having only ONE thing on my calendar for the upcoming weekends (instead of 3-4 like the last several weekends)

- Being significantly ahead in office hours for my GA to actually (maybe?) do my own work

- Beginning to plan my summer travel calendar (have a couch the pups and I can sleep on? I'll add you to my itinerary!)

- The deliciously warm weather and longer days; my pups are equally as excited

AAAAND lastly:

- John, after 3 long, ridiculous years, is graduating from law school.... I'm not even putting mascara on that day because I KNOW I'll cry it all off before the opening remarks are even over. This is BIG, y'all.

*What you can expect from me in the next 30 days:*

- Limited, if not sporadic, communication

- Minimal social outings (I'm so poor I can't afford to pay attention)

- Mostly likely less than usual postings

- And if I do get to post: RANTS

- General awkwardness and elusiveness of an overloaded grad student

TFD

It's about to get ugly.

It's about to get nuts.

It's about to get REAL.

But as Mr. T said, "Life's tough - but I'M TOUGHER." (I think I'm going to put that on a tshirt and wear it religiously until I'm done. Saves time on having to choose outfits... and not like I'm going to have time to do laundry anyhow.)

To those of you also feeling the crank and crunch of impending academic doom... summer is so close. And we will welcome it with unnecessary amounts of fermented elations!

Hold on tight, suckas.

Says me: Missus C.

I Got 99 Problems...

2011-03-22T21:04:00.014-04:00

Y'all know I've been out of the dating game for a long time. Long as in "All Star" by Smash Mouth was actually a new & cool song and iPods didn't even exist (true story). Because of this, I've had a hard time offering dating advice to friends, particularly female, on how John & I "make it work." For one, I really can't explain it; we set our own rules, play by them, and adapt as best as we can in the circumstance. Secondly, I unfortunately know full well that some chics are simply doomed for a life of dating turmoil. I know all girls are made up of sugar, spice, and everything illogical & unexplainable in the world (gotta love us!), but there are the special females who should either give up and join the nunnery or only commit themselves to the men who can put up with them: Jack (Daniels), Jim (Beam), and Jose (Cuervo). We all know the cheaters, the liars, and the freaker-outers, but these shining examples listed below are the ones we just don't know how to handle...

.::"Wedding Crashers"; New Line Cinema::.

[Side note: I take that back. "All Star" was never a cool song.]

1. The Chameleon

I know when you start investing in a significant other, you need to learn to appreciate one another's interests; at least, show a little support, even if you know you're never going to understand it. But no need to get all ridic'lous. I've seen some girls completely alter their brain pattern to be as obsessive of their new partner's hobbies and lifestyle as they are. Stupid bands, weird sports, crappy football teams... OH. And the best part is when she comes up to you and acts like YOU'RE the freak for not knowing (or caring) who and what she's talking about:
"Ugh. WHAT do you mean you've never heard of Stankpot Emo Chum? They're ONLY the most influential band in the funk-and-accordion genre. Whatever, I have to go make Crisco-fried-peanut-butter-jelly nachos for _insert name here_. It's his faaaavorite and we're going to watch the Banana Slugs game."

What's sad is most of the time he hardly acknowledges her interests on any level -- but why should he when she's so willing to push her own aside? Boys are NOT very observant, so we girls have to learn to speak up and be direct (and not gonna lie, it takes more than one time). Or, maybe, your friend has actually been boring all along and he did her a favor by engaging her in, well, something.

2. The One-Degree of "Kevin Bacon"

Homegirl cannot SHUT. UP. about her boyfriend ("Kevin Bacon"). Every conversation you have with this girl somehow always winds up with some stupid story about something uninteresting related to her "KB." You find it almost amazing that the conversation can be about something completely and totally NOT what would normally make you think of your beau, but she can ALWAYS bring the conversation back around to being about her and her boyfriend issues/stories. Cancer, Nazi-occupied Germany, diarrhea? She's got just the retort! And while it usually seems only-kinda-sorta related to the initial topic at first, when you finally make the connection yourself, it's like you just figured out a master level Sudoku. Im-pressive.

3. The Karate Kid: "Sex On-Sex Off"

These girls are EXHAUSTING. Listen, I know we live in a modern world where "we don't use labels," but the truth is: we're humans and we all like things defined in some way or another. (ESPECIALLY those who have to put up with you.) I really REALLY don't understand "on again, off again" relationships. I think the only thing more illogical in the world is how people don't understand eating fast food twice a day makes you a lard-ass, and I have no sympathy for those people either. If your relationship isn't working now, some magical set of circumstances that you think will be bestowed on you aren't going to make life easier and your relationship better. And GUESS WHAT? They're not gonna happen. If you're not 100% sure you're at least willing to give it what you got and make it work now, it's not going to change by next month. And who knows what opportunities you've missed out on because you're so preoccupied with the "maybe" -- perhaps your real "twu wuv"? You know you don't like it, your friends don't like it... NOBODY LIKES IT. So grow up and make up your mind, or shut up because I really don't have time to keep up with your relationship status that changes more than your Facebook one... and are just as lame, too.

4. The "I Really Believe Life Works Like a Crappy WB Show"

{Drama drama DRAMA.} The type that purposely puts themselves in ridiculous dating situations that only result in chaos and heartache, just so they have something interesting to talk about. They spend way too much time trying to be a general stereotype of a "20 something finding their way through life." With weird clothes. Oh, the fashion! The drama! The never-ending saga of finding true love! Honey, this ain't L.A. Your conversations aren't witty. EVERYTHING ISN'T ALWAYS A BIG FREAKIN' DEAL. Hey - put your energy towards something better than bs-ing about your latest "scenario" to your equally annoying friend, and for crying out loud, pick up a copy of New York Times instead of Cosmo once in a while.

5. The Paris Hilton

Similar to our "WB special" lady and the opposite of #1, this chic, too, has some serious mental detachments from reality. Aside from the fact she honestly believes the world revolves around her and anyone who makes less than seven digits is one of the "poor people," she treats her man like a little purse pooch = dressing them up, prancing them around, making them do generally demeaning and embarrassing things because, like, she said so. She's the classic prototype of "hot" - good bod, lots of perfectly applied make-up, got her hur did, and three closets full of designer labels - so you get why the guy sticks around (the same shallow people hang out in the same shallow cesspools...). Although, you hope he's done his cost-benefit analysis to see if his contributions to her luxurious tastes are compensated accordingly. YES, my friends, you can put a price tag on love.

6. The Mooch

Girl is HONGRAY and doesn't have a car. Otherwise "breaking up" means she won't get her Friday night Chinese and will have to take the bus to school. She can entertain her man (and his willy parts) long enough until she decides to make something of herself -- or finds somebody with more money and less brains. Settling? Nah, she's an opportunist!

7. The Needy Damsel

She's helpless. Whiney. Totally incapable. Whether spoiled and incompetent because of a cushy upbringing or because she was deprived of oxygen those first few precious moments of life, you can't understand how she reeled in a man when EZ Mac launches her into an anxiety attack. Listen, I know there are times John has come to my rescue and my hour of need was taking it's toll. But the lady in distress act is so 1895 and NOT COOL anymore. The sad part is when it might not be an act, and this girl truthfully and painfully is doomed to wander life as a giant 6-year-old. You want to feel bad for her that she'll never be a functioning adult... and maybe homeboy likes being the hero? Whatever. That doesn't stop you from researching ways to make sure that she'll NEVER procreate.

8. The Sugar Rush

You know the type. She's similar to your bratty cousin at Christmas parties, jumping around all jacked up on hot chocolate and those 'effin sugar cookies with icing AND more colored sugar sprinkles. Only instead of sugar, your friend is jacked up on the feeling of looove. Same as your bratty cousin, she has to tell you EVERYTHING you don't give a rat's craphole about -- and does so at about 400 miles an hour. You're exhausted after the first 45 seconds of listening to her go on about all the "romantic" stuff he does, the presents she's showered with, and the cutesy nonsense of their boring hobbies... and you keep looking for an excuse to find a way out. BUT THERE IS NONE. So you sit there, hoping your cranberry-vodka kicks in really quickly. Of course, it doesn't, and you don't a single word in the whole time, AND you're praying Bigfoot walks by outside so she'll get distracted. Finally, after 30min of mentally gauging your eyes out and covered in word vomit, she stops -- suddenly. She stares. Stares bigger. BIGGER. Aaaaand: "OMGILOVEHIMSOMUUUUUCH!... Well. Look at the time, it was nice seeing you, glad to hear you're doing well!" And as quickly as she came in, she's gone. And here comes the vodka buzz. (**Note: This is about 12 times more horrible if she's newly engaged. God help us all.)

9. The Parasite

You've successfully survived the complicated process of getting your pal to drop the loser she wasted too many tears and good outfits on. You get her to start coming back into a normal existence and moving forward to a healthy single life, only to find out days later she's ready to get back in the dating game... and has already begun "talking" to someone. Okay, you tell yourself, he can't be as big a tool bag as the last punk. WRONG! This girl simply can't function without "being taken." Being single means she'll wither and shrivel from lack of emotional nutrition; she feeds on the psychological attachment of anyone who gives her some kind of doting and attention. Not only is it frustrating because you have to sit there and put up with his fake hard-guy accent or crappy smelling cologne and use of limited grammar, but you know your friend can do better. You know your friend needs to get her own life in order before she can allow herself a better dude. But then you remember she's BFF with girl #4, and your attempts to have her realize her own hopes and dreams starts to make you sound scarily like Maury. So you put up with it, waiting patiently until either she discovers her own unique potential or at least finds a "nice young man" who can help her do so.

10. The HOW DOES SHE EVEN HAVE A BOYFRIEND?

This is the girl responsible for every single overplayed Taylor Swift song (NEWSFLASH: That's all of them.) She's sullen, mean, and demanding; she's self-absorbed, says French words (incorrectly) to sound cool, and is ungrateful; she's needy, clingy, and whines a lot; she's self-righteous, never wrong, and never compromising; she's dumb, inattentive, and flaky; she's drunk, sloppy, and smells. SHE WEARS HEAD TO TOE ABERCROMBIE & FITCH. Generally, you feel bad for the poor chump of a man who would rather have perpetual fungal infection than be stuck with this crazy broad. But then you wonder what he must've done in a past life to deserve this, or maybe he feels like showing her love and attention will make her a better person? Maybe he's just terrified she'll whip out her crazy b**ch wand and bludgeon him should he try to leave. For whatever reason, you put up with her, because you know your sweet but simple-minded friend sees something in her... and maybe, just maybe, you'll find out why someday yourself. (But in the meantime, you can still look for opportunities to put laxatives in her overpriced, frou-frou coffee drink... or PBR, depending).

------------

Maybe I'm old-school. Maybe I'm some sort of "special" and no one's told me (which explains a lot why some people talk very slow at me...).

Relationships are complicated, I get that. Life is tough and stupid, but your perspectives on situations and not taking Life's crap are what get you through at the end of the day (and of course, bourbon helps). If your significant other isn't willing to hold your hand and charge wildly into the terror of the unknown, or at the very least help make a plan about how to do so, you're wasting your time. Part of a healthy, honest, and poetically deep relationship is deciding what you want as a couple and supporting each other through the black holes and the Cloud 9's. It's NOT easy. But it's so worth it.

Point blank: Our basic philosophy is that John and I try to be good, honest, productive, and positive people in society no matter what our relationship is with others. We try to bring those qualities out in each other. Respect and communication goes a long way. A sense of humor is essential. And sharing a love of good food and wine is highly recommended.

[I think relationship rants are the best. What irks you about the "modern dating" complex plaguing our society?]

Blogging Trends as Cool as Mom Jeans.

2011-03-20T21:30:00.008-04:00

As I've recently given up the Book of Face (see below) and started paying attention more to my blog, I've discovered I'm a little less "with it" than I realized in the world of online journaling. What have I noticed, you asked?

1. There seems to be a new trend to have a bagillion "followers" of your blog. Now I "follow" several blogs and get updated posts all, all nice and tidy, pooled onto one webpage so I can stay up on people's bid'ness. I love getting to "know" new and interesting cyber peeps, and frankly it's been a big comfort to know there are creative individuals with similar thoughts and who can actually write with some substance (humanity isn't at a total loss yet!). But I keep getting requests from folks who haven't even actually, I dunno, READ my blog... and somehow expect I'll turn around and be BFF (blog friends fuh-eva). Listen, I'm not trying to be the next Bieber of the blogging world. My readers (that's you. like RIGHT NOW!) are awesome, and I'm not sure I want narcissistic crackpots trying to be all up in my grill anyways. And I certainly don't want to be in theirs.

2. WHY DO YOU POST ENDLESS PICTURES OF YOUR CHILDREN?! That's NOT safe!

In an experiment to see what other bloggers are doing and what's the new "format" for a "good" blog, I clicked that little button up top that says "Next Blog." I hit it multiple times and, I "kid" you not, of about 10 blogs I quick flipped through, 8-9 were all about one's kids. With LOTS of pictures. DO YOU KNOW WHO HAS ACCESS TO INTERNET?! Pedophiles! Terrorists! Sketchy politicians! I certainly wouldn't want multiple images of my widdle-wubby munchkins floating around... especially disclosing their age and any activities. I knooooow it's for families and such to keep up, I get that; but in a world approaching nearly 7 billion people, you don't know what freaks have the same chance of stumbling on your life with the click of a button.

And this is why I'll never be that mom posting pics of my kids:

I pull out the camera and they pull out the ridic'lousness.

3. Some people take their blogger profiles/"About Me" WAY too seriously. Get real. And for the love of Meatloaf, don't say you're a big fan of obvious things, like "eating" and "napping." Tell me one person who doesn't like to eat or nap, and we'll give THAT person a blog. Imagine the posts what would come out that delirium.

I was hoping the research would yield more inspiration for upgrades on my blog.

But really? I'm starting to think it's just fine.

And while I'm at it:

HAPPY SPRING!

I Give Up.

2011-03-15T17:59:00.016-04:00

Because it's Lent!

It's almost been a week since the ashes were smudged across my forehead (I love puns!), and I've got just a little over six more weeks to go. Seeing that my sacrifices affect not only myself but also possibly those of you who have to put up with me on some regular basis (sorry, you can't give me up - HA!), I decided it was best to make you all aware of my Lenten offerings.

I'm pulling out all the stops on Lent 2011, so here goes!

---------------------

No red meat.

Yup, no hamburgers, no steak, no bacon, no BBQ, no jerky, no Chinese spare ribs. Yup, anything pork or beef is nixed from ye ol' daily menu. Yup, other questionable meats, like lamb, bison, and any creatures of the mysterious wilderness are also off the table (pun #2, ba-baay!)... I can't actually remember the last time I was in a situation with exotic choices, but just in case. Chicken, turkey, and seafood are all fair game, though I'm trying to eat as little meat as possible. And, of course, Fridays mean no meat at all.

------------------

No chocolate.

Ahh, a grand Lenten tradition in my family, the no chocolate rule is fairly sacred. One time we tried giving up all sweets in general, and that got really weird really quickly: Does fruit count as sweets? Yogurt? Fancy spiced teas? Bubblegum? What if you're at a wedding or it's someone's birthday? Needless to say, scaling back and focusing on chocolate was pretty straight forward, and I'm amazed every year how much chocolate I typically consume on a weekly basis. I hid all what I currently have in a big bin in my cabinet, and I am SO looking forward to my Easter chocolate binge (and subsequent addition of five pounds to my butt).

-----------------------

No Target.

I know - I KNOW! - what you're thinking. Weird! Crazy! Impossible! Yes friends, I did, and this is probably going to be the most difficult for me. It's such an easy excuse to say I need to go there for toiletries and the essentials just so I can wander through all the other sections "while I'm there." What almost always happens is I forget things on my "need" list and come out with plenty on my "I-convinced-myself-I-needed" list. I realized when I was justifying another pair of ridiculous(-ly) (cute!) heels or frou-frou smelling candles or pieces of jewelry that look JUST like something I already have... I needed to assess my not only my lack of responsible spending but also my inner material girl. Likewise, I live in a really tiny apartment, so even the small things add up quickly and I'm ironically easily upset by lots of unnecessary clutter. I'm embarrassed to say it got as bad as it did, but let's face it - we all have a "Target." Instead, I'm hoping to put the time and money I normally waste in there to something more productive. Or, at the very least, just saving it.

--------------------

No Facebook.

Another gasp! from many when I mention this, especially when I gave little warning to those that it was part of the plan; but it was another thing that was not only distracting, but it frequently added anxiety or general feelings of being overwhelmed. I mentioned most of the reasons for taking a FB hiatus in a previous post. Initially, it was just going to last through my spring break, which ended Sunday. However, in coming to terms with what Lent is all about - a season of soul searching and repentance - it felt appropriate to keep it up. I've actually enjoyed being detached and found that I'm way more aware of where my time is going. I'm also more aware of the people of whom I miss "seeing what they're up to," so I'm trying to be better about doing so without the convenience of hitting a "Like" button.

Honestly, the worst part about giving up Facebook has been giving up FB Scrabble. :(

--------------------

No fast food.

I'm usually a pretty avid boycotter of fast food; but every now and again I find myself exhausted after a 12 hr day and a spicy chicken sam'ich from my F-F establishment of choice, Chic-Fil-A, sounds a lot better than crummy Lean Cuisine or peanut butter & jelly (for the 3rd time that week). So, looks like I'm going to have to get over it or start making lots of new recipes to have on hand, such as the Desperate Shepherd's Wife Pie listed below.

---------------

No cursing.

I take that back.

"No Target" is looking a lot easier.

-------------------

And there you have it. It sounds like a lot, but I've actually managed better than I thought I would when I sat in Ash Wednesday Mass contemplating my decisions. Overall, I can't really offer "alms" on my current budget, and participating in more charitable service is also a strain on my already very crazy schedule. Thus, I felt that I needed to sacrifice just a little bit more than normal.

But you had better believe come Easter morning I'll be eating a cheeseburger dipped in fudge whilst playing 12 different Scrabble games at a time.

Sitting in front of Target waiting for it to open.

Any Lenten words of wisdom or interesting things you've given up? Anything extra you're doing? I want to know!

Celia in the Kitchen: Desperate Shepherd's Wife Pie

2011-03-11T19:00:00.018-05:00

**Just FYI: I had this post in the works for a while and was excited to finally put it on the ol' blog while I had a little spring break downtime. However, in light of today's earthquakes in Japan, I was hesitant. Not sure why, but I felt an honest guilt about posting something so silly... after debating with myself for a good while, I decided it was alright to continue. Not-posting won't make the situation better... and I use it as a testament that I'm grateful to have the opportunity to do so. My mind & heart is with Japan tonight. My hopes & prayers are, too.

---------------------------------

Let me just say: I am NOT a girl who can cook. Likes to cook, yes; I'm a mad scientist in the kitchen, throwing ingredients together with a chaotic hand and laughing insanely when my final creation smells and tastes perfectly devine. But when it becomes my latest failed experiment, it's usually a pretty epic fail. No, I reserve the title for a person "who can cook" for those that understand the science and methodology behind the magic of great food. Who take the time to measure accurately, to pour slowly, to whisk swiftly. To actually read the directions.

Me? I skim the recipe and list of ingredients, then I assess the skill level needed to complete it. Step two, I usually start writing in my own substitutions and convince myself that "I've got this!" From there, a trip to the grocery store and a prayer are all I need.

My latest venture:
DESPERATE SHEPHERD'S WIFE PIE

I LOVE shepherd's pie. It's one of the first recipes I mastered and has been a hit with the family for a long time (and with four brothers, I could make a lot for the ravenous heathens and things wouldn't get too complicated). In my quest to make things more healthy, I started searching around for some fresh takes on the old favorite. The winning inspiration came from here - but my spin on the spin is truly a new Celia classic. I was intrigued of using sweet potatoes instead of plain mashed potatoes, and there was one ingredient that definitely stood out: red wine. WHAT? Holy merlot, you gotta be kidding me?! Without hesitation, I printed the recipe and ran to Publix. The following tips for getting started this recipe are as follows:

- In glancing over the recipe with my grocery basket in hand, I realized it called for ground sirloin. Sirloin? Da-yum, the good stuff.... This shepherd must've been like the Kayne West of shepherding, rounding up sheep with wool made of gold. Nope, I think I'll stick my good old ground turkey (a favorite, healthier substitution). I like my shepherds to be peasants, and we're already getting carried away with the wine... moving on.

- Likewise, it also called for peas. And carrots. Listen, I can't read them together without thinking of a certain Tom Hanks film that still makes me cry every time I even mention it. (Minh, if you're reading this, thank you for that summer afternoon of frozen pizza and Forest Gump... it changed my life.) I simply wasn't crazy about adding "my tears" to the ingredient list. Also, I just really like my SP loaded with lots of good veggies, so I lucked out and found a bag of frozen (organic!) "stew blend" veggies: onions, green beans, corn, okra, lima beans... and yes, peas & carrots. And that's all I have to say about that.

- I typically make my SP topped with a sharp, shredded cheddar. Kind of sad this recipe didn't call for a cheesy top coat, I decided to get a bag of a reduced-fat parmesan/mozzarella blend just in case. The idea came from one of my favorite restaurants, Sesame, where they make THE most amazing sweet potato fries topped with grated parmesan.

- Lastly, it simply says "red wine." I'm a sucker for a good Cab, and I found one called Gingerberry with a spicy, peppery taste - figured it'd pair nicely with the sweet potatoes. (I found this hilarious review and this girl describes my sentiments exactly.)

- Okay, this post is already getting long enough. ON TO THE PHOTOS!

First, I browned the ground turkey and set aside. Next up, I added the veggies to the pan for a nice sauté with some butter and salt and pepper.

Mmm, steamy veggies.

Next up, I brought out the ingredients to mix with my bowl o' meat.
And then I re-read the recipe for the called measurement of wine...

WHAT? That's it?
You're kidding me, right?

Ch'yah. I'm "adding to taste" on this part...

Wait. What's that smell?

Whoops! Veggies getting a little too cooked.

Adds a rustic flavor though? Don't ya think?

So now that my meat is appropriately saturated and my veggies spiced with char, I mix them all up.

Uh. Yeah.

This better look A LOT better when it's done.

And it slooowly begins to resemble a hearty baked dish.

Another secret?

I cheated.

I knew I'd barely be able to stay focused long enough to wash/boil/peel/mash the sweet potatoes along with everything else (and having an open bottle of wine dangerously close doesn't help), so I asked my friend, Betty, to give me a hand.

The sad part is, these turn out extremely good and put any possibility of me actually making sweet potatoes taste this delish' right out the window. This also cut my prep time in half, which is perfect for an anxious chef such as myself.

Once those were done, I spread them out over the meaty base and pop in oven. And wait.

And now... NOW I see why the wine is so important.

You have 30min of unadulterated alone time while your oven takes over the rest.

Time to fill up a favorite over-sized coffee mug and get the party started!

(**side note, I have no idea why this part is red, and my limited HTML experience won't allow me to fix it...)

Unless, of course, you have two very judgey on-lookers.

FINE.

Considering I've still got hot surfaces and sharp objects around, it's probably a good thing I start slowly.

Actually, I like this swanky wine glass. A present from Cadey, John's little sis, I use this every chance I get to feel like "aaahhh real South'un lay-day." (Thanks again, girl!)

After 30 min, I check on it and it smells HEAVENLY. I add the shredded cheese and pop back in for another 5-7 min.

At this point, I really don't really even care what it tastes like. The heavy, magical aroma of all the flavors coming together was worth all of it.

Time to scoop up a plate and pour glass number 2!

Or was it 4?

After polishing off a heaping helping, I'm convinced this is indeed, a success. I'll definitely be trying it again and am happy with the substitutions I made.

Just not happy with the mess....

Ehhhhh... Whatever. It'll still be there in the morning. But you know what won't be? The chance for dessert.

Nothing satisfies my after-dinner sweet tooth or pairs better with a zesty wine like a spoonful of Nutella.

And nope. This time, I'm not down-sizing.

So there you have it. No culinary masterpieces using lots of technique and ingredients you can't pronounce. It's amazing in it's simplicity, packed with some serious nutrition, and a little unexpected. Frankly, that's how I like all of my meals, and it's inspired me to continue experimenting with classic-with-a-twist kinds of recipes. If anyone is up for taking on the adventure with me, then tally-ho! Oh, and I will have the wine, whether the recipe calls for it or not.

Happy Eating!

I've Lost the "Spring" in My Step. Looks Like It's Time to Go Shoe-Shopping.

2011-03-07T20:50:00.013-05:00

Out of the darkness comes the inspiring light.

Out of the violent storms comes the beautiful rainbow.

Out of the crummy potatoes comes the "ahh, that's the stuff" vodka.

It's the Monday night of my spring break, and I'm sitting at home preparing for a long day of research and further life catch-up for the Tuesday of my spring break... as if the first few days weren't already about that. NO, my friends, I'm not basking on a sunny coast. I'm not in a place of glitz and glamour. I'm not getting crunk on moonshine in the mountains.

I'm taking care of bid'ness.

This semester has been really difficult for me. Kicked. My. Azz. I've struggled to find direction, to keep up with the demands... to basically know what in a blue-blazes was going on day-to-day and week-to-week. As much as I wanted to so badly to have a great spring break experience, I think I needed more-so a chance to plan for the next eight weeks (the end of the academic year). And the daunting summer sandwiched between two years of academic agony.

And, all the while, selfishly... I'm scared my hard work will be in vain. All for naught.

I can't help sometimes but wish I was toasted on a beach-side porch or running willy-nilly down the streets of some amazing destination like most of my friends.

For the next undisclosed amount of time, I've deactivated my Facebook account. It's bratty and weird to do so, I know; but it's become a constant reminder of how lame, behind, or generally boring I've become. OH, and how I'm not getting engaged, pregnant, or otherwise experiencing some glorified life event any time soon.

(To my Facebook Scrabble friends, my most humble apologies. I'm trying to find a way around that....)

And, in the end, I've decided I've wasted far too much time wondering. Wondering what people think. Think about silly things. In another case of God sending me little reminders of how ridiculous and restless I've let my brain become (y'all know I'm a sucker for my cosmic interventions), the following passages from recent Mass readings gave me slight, but significant comfort - kind of like that favorite bottle of cheap grocery store wine can give. But BETTER.

1 Corinthians 4:3-5

"I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make be innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in the darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise before God."

Matthew 6: 25, 27, 31-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?..."

"And which of you by being anxious can add one [hour] to his span of life?"

"Therefore, do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows you need them all. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Ah, yep. I'm certainly no purveyor of in-your-face religion. And I'm certainly no innocent one.

But I know the Almighty has lots of important things to say.

If He says I shouldn't worry, I guess I shouldn't.

Maybe I should take a note from my weirdo dog....

I wuv yoo!

And looks like He's the only on who can judge me, muchachos.

Nah-nah-nee-boo-boo!

In other words, I'm taking a mental vacation this spring break. Taking time to focus on sorting out the chaotic thoughts and to-do lists floating in my head. Taking time to get where I need to be, at least to handle the next big steps. Did I treat myself to said favorite bottle of wine? It's the least I could do.

To all (maybe 4?) of you reading this:

Don't worry, I'll be back to being sassy soon enough.

I Be Up in the Gym, Just Workin' on My Fitness. Here's How You Can, Too.

2011-03-03T17:55:00.008-05:00

I survived.

Kind of.

After countless hours of studying, typing & re-writing notes, bleeding my highlighter dry in my textbooks, and deciding that sleep was a secondary necessity of life... my midterms are behind me.

Kind of.

I still have a take home midterm to complete, but it's been tabled until this weekend.

Tonight, I drink.

---------------

Prior to the hell week (that I'm still not sure is over), I did, in fact, have the opportunity to participate in something that I do enjoy - and heck, might even be decent at (grad school = not so much). I attended the Southeastern Collegiate Fitness EXPO, a conference for those involved in university wellness and recreation. I. had. a. BLAST! My buttocks was royally whipped, but I'd go through that 100 times over before ever having to go through another round of midterms. I learned so much, challenged myself physically harder than ever before, met some cool people, and got to know my fellow group exercise instructors a little bit more (some of y'all a lot more than others, nah what I'm sayin'?!). I'm already excited for next year and can't wait to implement all my new moves and ideas into my classes. You should really come to one of them... IF YOU CAN HANDLE IT.

So, while it's difficult to summarize all the tidbits of my trip, one thing that came out of it was talking with fellow instructors/personal trainers about what we love about teaching classes/helping clients... and what we HATE. That, I felt was worthy of sharing, because by reading this you'll either be our next super-star participant, or you'll save yourself the embarrassment and keep your lazy, squishy keister at home (<-- reverse psychology; is it working?). Allow me to bring you:

*Celia's Tips for Surviving Group-X Classes Like a Champ*

(*Photo prop-a-tee of Breakfast at Target, shot at an actual class where I work!)

Show up on time or a little early; this ain't no gallery opening.

We instructors love it when you're there and ready to go right when the class is scheduled to begin. It's a respectful gesture to the other participants and the instructor, and it's proven you work harder when you're already "in the zone" before the class even starts. Not only does it get you mentally prepared, but the warm-up is SO IMPORTANT. It prevents injury and allows you to safely start challenging yourself. Yes, even if it's not a cardio-based class. DON'T MISS IT. So, if you think you can saunter in a group-x class fashionably late, think again - it's dangerous, rude, and pretty stinkin' annoying.

When we ask, "HOW ARE YOU DOING?!"... we're not being polite.

We really want to know. A simple whoo! really is sufficient; shoot, even a simple aauuggh! is fine. Despite being prepared with a class plan, we instructors will tweak the class based on atmosphere of the room. If everyone's doing great (whoo!), we'll move on to the next thing or crank up the intensity. If everyone's dying (aauuggh!), we know to tone it down and maybe break down the current routine. Similarly, it's a simple measure of knowing you can still breathe enough to do the moves and scream back at us. We hate quiet classrooms and being the only one to make noise. We love when you're there to have as much fun as we are.

On the flip-side...

Keep the talkin' for after class, fools! If you can hold a conversation with your friend next to you, you're not working hard enough. You're also most likely missing important safety cues and information on what's coming up, which will only cause imminent harm and incur dirty looks to both you and your chatty pal.

Did you mistake a GX class for a rap video try-out?

Because you look ridiculous. Listen, I like being a little festive and wearing athletic gear that doesn't make me look like a mid-town hobo. If I'm going to be sweaty and smelly by the end of it, I may as well have on some cute clothes. But for pete's sake, if you look like you spent a significant portion of your day planning what to wear to the gym, you're not impressing anyone. A face full of make-up and sparkly yoga pants aren't going to make you work out harder, do the moves better, and no one is here scouting for Vegas showgirls. Group exercise classes are for working your booty, not getting some.

Likewise, don't channel the Olsen twins.

Layers of ratty clothing and a sullen attitude is hardly what a good work out makes. Ya freak.

We LOVE it when you "take the challenge."

We know the first class or two is all about figuring out the moves, the instructor, and what you're good/not-so-good at. But once you've got it down, GO FOR IT. Use heavier weights. Make your moves bigger. Squat a little deeper. Make your technique stronger. Go a little bit harder. A little bit each time is ALL you need! In some of my classes, some participants couldn't do a push-up to save their life. Now, a set of 8-10 is a breeze. Trust me, we instructors notice when you're working hard. And when you're getting better. Not to throw the cheesy factor at ya, but it really does inspire us to watch you become the bad-ass you were meant to be.

We can only push you so far.

But in the end, it's YOU who exerts the energy, takes the challenge, and actually shows up to class. We'll do everything we can as instructors to teach you how to move properly, to give you the best results, to motivate you through the 60 minutes of the best pain and torture of your life; but we need you to stick with us. Fact: You only see results when you completely exhaust your muscles to the point where you can't push them anymore. For the mind-body style classes, it's not as intense, but you still need to break out of your comfort zone to feel the effects. If exercise was easy, we'd all be size 2's and eat doughnut burgers for breakfast. It's a process of dedication and personal-growth. There are no plateaus. There's only the part where you stop trying, where you accept failure as the inevitable constant, and where you don't ask for help from the people you need it from most. Slip-ups are okay. Giving up is not.

And while we're at it:

- Talk to us; we love to know what you liked. And yes, we want to know what sucked.

- Turn your phones off -- for the next hour, the only thing you need to answer is "ARE YOU FEELING IT?!"

- Spit out the gum. What? You think your fresh minty breath will make up for the fact you smell like a gas station bathroom? Suck it up and wear your post-workout funk like it's the latest P-Diddy cologne and get rid of the gum. I know CPR, but I really don't want to have to beat your chest and scream WHY GOD, WHYYY!? when you choke.

- SMILE. And like you mean it.

**For the fellas:

- It really irritates us instructors when you act like our classes are a frilly social hour disguised with a few Jane Fonda moves. I challenge any one of you to come and see if you can handle what we throw at you. I have a few dudes that come to my strength & endurance training class and I can assure you they're progressing better than some of the meatheads in the weight room doing everything ALL wrong. We love it when you treat us as a real fitness professional and acknowledge the work we're doing to make the world a fitter, happier place.

- LIKEWISE, group exercise classes are quite possibly THE best way to meet chics. For one, you see us ladies as we are; if we're still attractive with no make-up and in a tshirt drenched in sweat, chances are we clean up even better. If we're hideous, you just saved yourself the disappointment of taking home the "done-up" version and waking up to that mess. Further, if we can throw a legit punch, lift some serious weight, pick up complicated combinations in record time, and make 100 jumping jacks look like a walk in the park, chances are we're not the kind of needy damsel who requires lots frou-frou attention. We'll bring the heat every where we go. Do you hear me? EVERYWHERE.

------------

Hopefully by now, you've got it.

NOW, if I could just get a personal trainer for my schoolwork, I'd be set.

8 weeks til the end of school. 8 weeks.

Questions? Comments? Additional tips you'd like to share? You know where to leave them.

And for the love of Richard Simmons, I updated the "reactions" below - all you have to do is click on them. I need feedback y'all!

Thank Oprah There Are Only 28 Days of February....

2011-02-20T20:34:00.011-05:00

... because another 2 or 3 would absolutely ruin me. February is like that bizarre, random family member who always makes a bizarre, random visit semi-unexpectedly. You know you need to prepare, you know you need to get everything in order, and you know you need to prep yourself for the awkward duration of their stay. But despite all your planning and mental chanting of "it's not that bad, it's not that bad"... IT IS THAT BAD. You're frantic and stressed and catering to this guest you don't really like but for some reason know screwing up would bring impending chaos; and you have to grit your teeth into a frozen smile, slipping bourbon in your coffee to keep from hyperventilating.

Then you just hit that wall where you. can't. go. any. MORE. Operating on auto-pilot, your body luckily has enough muscle memory to get you through your daily motions... and eventually, looking around and wondering "where the heck am I?" again, you realize you've become a slave to something that's clearly not welcome, but you're too exhausted to tell it to STEP OFF. So, instead, you quietly collapse in on yourself, praying that it leaves just as quickly as it whirl-winded into your life - and preferably before your gin stash runs out.

I gave myself the weekend off from calendars and homework crunching and work/school research. I already wound up curled on the floor this week once, my head and heart so heavy from the madness that's consumed my life as of late; so I decided I needed a mental vacay. Friday night brought an evening of margaritas and healthy, hilarious venting session with some friends from my program. The weather was spectacular on Saturday, so instead I left the windows open, blasted my Pandora, and caught up on tons of photo-editing. Saturday evening John & I finally had our official Valentine's Day date -- it was great, except for the table of 15 middle-aged women draped in male genitalia decorations next to us for a bachelorette party... thank goodness for a very observant and understanding manager that moved us to a cozier spot and that over-sized bottle of wine that made up for it. And today, I slept past 7am for the first time in weeks, got to hang out with my group exercise gal-pals (something that definitely needed to have happened a long time ago - it was weird seeing them in real clothes), and topped off the day with a great dinner and YOGHUTTTT! with John and his family. All in all, I know my stumble away from my responsibilities will bite me in the butt later... but for now: I. don't. CAAAARE.

We can even make apathy look good.

God really does work in mysterious ways, and I know He's fully aware of my love of cosmic-connections and a good dose of irony. On a recent errand-running afternoon, I passed a used bookstore and decided to make a quick stop to check it out (used bookstores to me are like WalMarts at midnight for trashed high schoolers - I go nuts). So I quickly browsed and found a copy of Into the Wild. I've been wanting to read it for a really long time, and it was in mint condition and pretty cheap. The little cutie behind counter (sweater vests, glasses, and an awkward, boyish smile = I'm a sucker) told me he really loved the book, but that he really couldn't believe someone was that crazy enough to just leave everything behind and wander. Being pushed to the point of empty insanity and contemplating my own running-off-into-the-sunset, I knew I already had a lot in common with the main character.

So I finally got to reading it this past week, and lemme-tell-ya, it's weird, man. But a good weird. I put down three chapters in one night, staying up way past my bedtime. The book also has a lot of quotes in it, several that were found underlined in books carried by the main character. This one, a special one to him, comes from Leo Tolstoy's "Family Happiness":

“I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life.”

I think what I'm missing in everything is the value of the sacrifice I'm making to accomplish what I'm doing and to channel my anxieties in the right way -- to go beyond the day-to-day of it all and know that my late nights at the computer, my early mornings at the gym, my 14 hour non-stop days, my Friday nights early in bed to wake up early on a Saturday to write papers, my avoidance of the convenience foods (or the awesomely, deliciously bad-for-you foods) in lieu of something made with healthy ingredients, my by-passing of the latest sale at Target and putting the extra dollars in savings, my general attempt at simplifying my life and letting go of the negative thoughts in my head...

I hope it's worth it.

I hope I make the world an better, more functional, more FUN place, a place of no more missed opportunities, a place of conquerable fears and ambitions... danghit, I want to be the Genghis Khan of AWESOME! (<-- Go to 1:32)

I'm coming for YOU, world! Fear the echos of horse-hooved drumbeats - it means I'm a'comin'!

Or maybe I'll have to settle for Chihuahua-paws... either way, I think the only option to making it out alive is to pull a crazy and become a grad-school warrior. And once I've conquered the empire of educational doom, perhaps then I can contemplate my own sacrifices on this journey to leadership.

In the meantime, I'll eat my meat on a large stick and practice my "crazy eyes" in preparation for battle. This ain't gonna be pretty.

Bring me a shot of whiskey already and LET'S DO THIS.

---

**Added Bonus! And because I'm absolutely in love with this video and it sorta-kinda-not-really-but-maybe-could fit in the theme of ridiculousness for today, I thought I'd share:

I think this might be another one of God's devine interventions that I stumbled on this.... it's eerie how much this baby is the spittin' image of my 18-month-old self. Future daughter possibilities? I sure hope so.

Forecast: 80% Chance of Nervous Break-Down with a 100% Chance of Discombobulation.

2011-02-10T22:15:00.009-05:00

My life has become as bizarre and stressful as the recent southeastern weather... I never seem to know what to expect day-to-day, how to prepare, or who to trust about what's to come.

Nutshell: I'm overloaded.

The last two weeks I've been getting up between 5:30-6am, partly for work at the gym but mostly because I need to give myself that much of a head start on the day.... the sad part is, I'm still up at midnight and my "To Do" list only seems to be bigger at the end of the day than with what I started. My grad assistantship is becoming increasingly more complicated and confusing; and despite going over my allotted hours every week, I feel like a lot of the things I've been doing have surmounted to a lot of wasted effort. I have SO MUCH structure and choreography prep for group exercise classes. I'm pathetically behind in my reading for all of my actual academic my classes - even an endless supply of coffee and all-weekend pass to a remote location of the library would barely help me scratch the surface. I've barely begun research for my end-of-the-year projects... I've cancelled Spring Break plans because I'm going to need every waking minute to catch-up. I've started several photo projects and am scared my nights are going to be even longer trying to edit and post for people and groups. The end of the semester is barely three months away, and I still have NO idea what I'm going to do over the summer.

On top of everything, my apartment is a disaster, my ends are ratty and split, and I haven't shaved my legs in a week. OH, and I'm out of Noir and have been for a while. I'd rather have my papers stained with tanins than my tears, m'kay!

BUT I'm convinced I still have a few mental canisters stocked with positive energy, and I'm going to try to make them last as long as I can. I've been lucky this energy is often replenished with being around people who share their smiles and their time with me; it's like their genuine goodness and grip on reality (or lack of grip, as it may be) outweighs the negativity that constantly tries to slip through in my most vulnerable times. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have good places and thoughts and moments to find my center, including but not limited to:

- Two weird little doggies that are ALWAYS excited to see me when I come home.

- A kick-ass Pandora quick-mix station that somehow knows exactly what I need to hear.

- The early spring, as so deemed by the Groundhog. Clearly, Punxatawney is the only weatherman I trust.

- Facebook Scrabble.

- The people I work with, both at the gym and at my GA. How exciting to know that, even though I'm swamped with work tasks, I am still surrounded by knowledgeable, friendly, hilarious people.

- Seeing the participants in my fitness classes regularly attending and improving vastly over time - getting stronger, leaner, happier. While I'm sure I'm hardly the reason they're returning, I get excited to see people take charge of their lives and make good decisions for themselves.

- Having my sister, Bridget, close-by when I need a Saturday morning pal to wander the fresh markets or a babysitter for the pups so I can get some work done. Oh, and who doesn't judge me when I use or wear things I found at thrift stores and talk about weird things I heard on NPR, thankyouverymuch.

- A mom that still sends me a Valentine's Day goody package, even though I insist I'm avoiding it... OKAY FINE, I like cutesy pink socks and chocolate! Whatever!

- And speaking of VD (get'cho mind out of the gutter, fool!), I've had the same sweetheart for 9 years now... and though we pretend the commercialized bastardization of St. Valentine's feast day is no big deal, we always cave and try to do something special. Gives me a nice excuse to shave my legs and drink a bottle of wine that costs more than $10.

- Free cupcake opportunities this week = 2. Free cookie opportunities = 3. NOTHING makes my mid-day slumps better than free, delicious baked goods. Store bought, homemade, special ordered from an over-priced bakery... they're all devine.

- Looking forward to a quick weekend get-a-way to participate in a 5K down the coast. This race has more meaning to me than any I've done... not for the cause, not for the location, but for the particular people who are coming with me and testing their own limits while on their personal fitness journey, participating in their very first race with goal in mind. I'm thrilled for them! So excited, in fact, I'm bringing my awesome, neon-stripy running shorts. Pictures to come.

- I actually don't have to be in to work until a little later than normal tomorrow... guess who has their alarm set for a whopping 7am!

There. I feel better.

Sorry for the lack in any attempt to make this sassy, interesting, or clever... unfortunately the above mentioned energies have no effect on my waning brain capacity, so I'm left to deal with that one as is.

In other words, if I seem distant or stressed, it's because I am.

But just so you know, I'm trying hard not to be a slave to the madness that has become my daily routine, to keep my center balanced.

Empathy is welcome - but only if it's shared over a bottle of something heavy and red... or large and chocolately.

Post-Weekend Expressionism. The Good Deliriousness.

2011-01-23T21:49:00.010-05:00

My apartment is a disaster.

Throat. Is. On. Fi-YAH.

So much reading to do.

Aaand there's a sizable blister on my right foot caused by, what my dear friend Becky W., refers to as "inappropriate shoes choices."

Gawsh. But did I have a good weekend!

Aside from the fact that I'm pretending 6am tomorrow morning actually won't happen (aren't we due for an Apocalypse? - that'd be nice if the 4 Horsemen at least did a practice run long enough to let me sleep another hour), I just decided I'd check in and let you all know that I'm brimming with a happy disposition. For many reasons. Reasons too whimsical, complicated, and/or boring to the average reader and I'll spare you from reading here. But lunch dates to dramatically philosophize the details over fancy sandwiches with festive toothpicks... those are always appropriate and welcome.

I love people so much! How wonderful to be constantly surprised that even the most gifted, talented, endowed, blessedly attractive, or fortunately financially secured folks put their underpants on JUST the same as anyone else. (Even if they're not from the Target sale rack like mine are.)

I can't get enough of this song. Just because, I think you all should take 3:39min to close your eyes and sway to the amazing voices of these girls.

"Marvelous Things"

"Morning light will burst bright!

And keep us here... safely."

I dedicate this to the marvelous people who remind me every day that humanity, at the heart, is not wicked or violent. But rather, it's simple, hilarious, spontaneous, challenging, uplifting, awkward, full of surprises, full of hugs, and delicious. I'm lucky to be in the company of so many who not only display daily the essence of a good-hearted world, but I see myself growing into a a place of silver-lined perspectives.

In other words, my friends keep the good karma rolling. You should feel lucky, too. :)